To quote the imminent scholar Treantmonk, a Big Stupid Fighter is, “Any character that actively tries to be the target of enemy attacks. For those who wonder why I would label this character as ‘stupid’ regardless of their INT score – reread the previous sentence.” So let’s go over the checklist. Is Fighter big? Certainly. Is he a Fighter? Tautology. Is he stupid? If you’ve made it all the way to comic #62, I think you’ve got a pretty good idea. However, I’m not sure it’s fair to say the dumb lug is really trying to get attacked here. It just so happens that Thief has mad ranks in Use Rope.

Unlike watch order (which, as we discussed on Monday, is a figure it out once and then forget about it sort of enterprise) the key to a good marching order is flexibility. Case in point, our group is in the middle of a Runelords campaign, and I’m piloting a barbarian named Frar. He’s a big bag of hit points, scared of neither man nor beast, and therefore our default point man. Yet when we got to the spooky scary dungeon, the one containing all manner of mind-affecting malarkey ready to jump out from behind every door, we wound up switching him out for the druid, allowing the unwashed animal lover to take the brunt of the mental attacks. Say what you will about the constant funk of patchouli, but that guy can make a Will save! Same deal when you’ve got a rogue and a trap dungeon, a ranger and a tracking scenario, or a kender and an infinitely deep pit. Always make sure you’ve got the right guy at the head of the marching order. That mess can save lives.