Today’s joke comes courtesy of 3.X D&D. For those of you who are more familiar with the latest edition of the world’s most popular role-playing game, here’s the relevant bit of rules text:

Your Disguise check result determines how good the disguise is…. If you don’t draw any attention to yourself, others do not get to make Spot checks.

This is a perfectly serviceable rule. It works well enough at the table. As I hope we’ve illustrated today, it is nevertheless absurd. Glue a pair of bananas to your head and you can walk unremarked among the minotaur warcamp. Throw a bucket of paint at Legolas and he’s a suddenly welcome through the front gates of Menzoberranzan. Staple some shoes to your pant legs, walk around on your knees, and suddenly you get to bust a move at all of this season’s hottest halflings-only dance parties.

Of course no sensible GM would allow this malarkey. Kick the suspension of disbelief in the teeth and it tends to get pissed off and kick back. But if you’ve read all ~250 pages of this comic, you may have picked up on the fact that there is a degree of humor to be found by taking rules to their illogical extremes. Same deal with the peasant rail gun, the bag of rats, and the legendary über-munchkin known as Pun-Pun.

Question of the day then. Have you ever abused a rule despite its blatant in-game illogic? Did your GM let you get away with it? Let’s hear it in the comments!


ADD SOME NSFW TO YOUR FANTASY! If you’ve ever been curious about that Handbook of Erotic Fantasy banner down at the bottom of the page, then you should check out the “Quest Giver” reward level over on The Handbook of Heroes Patreon. Twice a month you’ll get to see what the Handbook cast get up to when the lights go out. Adults only, 18+ years of age, etc. etc.