Today’s blog is not for the feint of heart. Some readers may rage. Some may flash back to unfortunate high school games. In rare cases, you may experience increased blood pressure, projectile vomiting, darkened soul, or the sudden urge to hurl your PHB into the sun. Consult your GM if you experience any of these symptoms.

Do you dare to venture forth anyway? Alrighty then. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Without further ado, I now present The Top 10 Rules Not to Spring on Your Players.

  1. Critical Fails: “You rolled a natural 1? Tough luck. Your professional warrior just chucked her ancestral sword in the river.”
  2. Resurrection: “There’s no divine magic in my game. Your next character starts at level 1. Roll 1d10 for starting gold.”
  3. Sneak Attack: “No no no. You have to be behind the enemy to get sneak attack. I don’t care what it says in the book.”
  4. Critical Skills: The king hands you his crown, a stunned look on his face. He mutters, ‘I can’t believe I was an impostor the whole time!'”
  5. No Multiclassing: “You should have checked with me before writing your backstory. Here, just play this pregen for today.”
  6. Permanent Injuries: “Don’t worry. It just makes combat a little more realistic. We’ll roll on this chart I found on THE INTERNET and… huh. Maybe you can get a seeing eye dog in the next town.”
  7. Mandatory Spell Components: “Let me see your character sheet. Yeah, sorry. There’s no bat guano in your inventory. Your fireball fizzles.”
  8. Extra Realistic Realism: “As you pull back to fire, your bowstring snaps with a twang. Come on bro, what did you think would happen? It’s raining.”
  9. Chaos Magic: “You know how the wild magic sorcerer gets a fun chart? In my games, everyone has a fun chart! Your charm person also… transports you to the astral plane. Fun!”
  10. Kender: “I allow kender in my game.”

I suspect that this list could be slightly longer. No doubt Barbarian has a suggestion to make. Therefore, in an effort to create a more comprehensive list of rage-inducing “oh by the way” addenda, what is an awful “surprise rule” that a GM sprung on you mid-session? Was it an all-around awful rule, or was it just the sudden curve ball that set your blood boiling? Let’s hear all about your least favorite, least expected GM calls down in the comments!


ADD SOME NSFW TO YOUR FANTASY! If you’ve ever been curious about that Handbook of Erotic Fantasy banner down at the bottom of the page, then you should check out the “Quest Giver” reward level over on The Handbook of Heroes Patreon. Twice a month you’ll get to see what the Handbook cast get up to when the lights go out. Adults only, 18+ years of age, etc. etc.