You guys, I’m out here rocking songs. Meeting friends and influencing people. I got poetry and lightning in my brain, having learned the ways of MAGICK and possessing the ability to TALK such that the tribes of MEN will render unto me such service as I beg of them. And that service friendos?

Do want to know what I’ll ask of you?

Do ya?

Then lean in close. Because I’ve got a deal you aren’t gonna believe! You ready? Close your eyes and hold out your hands. Here it coooo-ooooomes!

BANG! POW! Cream pie to the dome piece! Cue the canned laughter.

So look youse guys… There’s a reason that you’re not supposed to let Saruman speak. He will put a spell on you. And speaking as a practitioner, I’ve learned a trick or two myself.

So let me tell you buddy! There’s this bridge in Brooklyn I want to sell yas. Just a little up front money on the barrel head. And while we’re at it, try not to listen to the words of the conmen, but their meaning. 

You ever fall for it though? Did you ever let that bad, bad ‘man behind the screen do you a heckin’ good bamboozle? What’d they say! CONFESS THY SINS! And we shall all have a good laugh at our mutual misfortune down in the dooblydoo.


THIS COMIC SUCKS! IT NEEDS MORE [INSERT OPINION HERE] Is your favorite class missing from the Handbook of Heroes? Maybe you want to see more dragonborn or aarakocra? Then check out the “Quest Giver” reward level over on the The Handbook of Heroes Patreon. You’ll become part of the monthly vote to see which elements get featured in the comic next!