Toilet Humor
Across the breadth of the intertubes, there is a piece of advice that seems to creep into each and every dungeon design discussion: Always include a bathroom. It’s a nod to the philosophy that dungeons need to make sense, and that intelligent humanoids need some place to do their business (even if those “intelligent” humanoids are orcs, and even if their bathroom is just a hole in the ground). This is the naturalistic approach to dungeon building, as opposed to the dungeon as mythic underworld approach that we’ve discussed a time or two before. No points for guessing which type of dungeon The Anti-Party are trekking through in today’s comic.
You can read about the “absurdly large sewer” trope in all its glory over on TV Tropes, but chances are you don’t need to. Adventures in sewers are a staple of this hobby, from the otyugh plugs of Korvosa to the sprawling complex of random encounters running under Waterdeep. Chances are you’ve spent some time in one. Hell, my first published dungeon featured a chase through a sewer system, and I’ll be honest with you: it felt more like a necessity than an option in an urban setting. Never mind the fact that sewers with 50′ ceilings are decidedly atypical in real world contexts. There’s just something about the passageways that lie beneath our feet, lurking under the surface of everyday life, that draws the imagination.
I think that for me, it’s the bits and pieces of the sewer system poking up into daylight like ant hills. They’re just the tip of the odoriferous iceberg; the visible portion of vast hidden networks. Manhole covers and storm drains are like the little mound of dirt capping all those endless ant tunnels, and so I find myself projecting subterranean grandeur onto modest municipal systems.
It’s an odd point of comparison, but I was lucky enough to make it down into the Paris catacombs a few years back. If you’ve never been, trust me when I say that the place is nothing like a sewer. Limestone mine and overflow ossuary, the catacombs are exactly the sort of urban adventure we all imagine when we think of metropolitan dungeon-delving. It’s a weird matter of metonymy when we begin to merge exceptional real world labyrinths with commonplace septic systems, but the Paris catacombs seem to lie under the surface of every one of our fantasy settlements. A small settlement shouldn’t need a sewer big enough to accommodate an army of ninja turtles, but they always seem to show up regardless. From the horror of Pennywise’s lair to the goofy fun of surfing The Great Wave, sewer systems are the dungeons closest to our mundane lives. I suppose it’s no wonder when they begin to grow and morph into something enormous when we explore them in-game.
I’m sure the rest of your guys have spent your fair share of unpleasant hours tromping through sewer-themed adventures. What was it like? What interesting monsters, secret cults, and unpleasant smells did you encounter? Let’s hear all about your favorite sewer adventures down in the comments!
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I’ve actually never adventured in a sewer. Don’t know why, seems pretty normal. I feel like there’s a stigma against sewer adventuring since poo gas and that you mostly encounter giant vermin down there which makes people feel like glorified exterminators.
I find that hiding/staging an inconvenient corpse is a more universal experience to modern adventurers, and I’m surprised the comic hasn’t covered it.
Sewers are actually a relatively modern thing.
Tell ya what. I’ll take care of the inconvenient body for ya if you and your guys do something about the rats down at junction J-9.
My understanding is that sewers are actually a fairly ancient thing. The Romans had them, after all. Just google the Cloaca Maxima.
My most memorable adventure in a sewer involved successfully casting Remove Disease on an otyugh so it was a safer fight for us.
The otyugh was not happy it was clean.
I love his so much, I can’t even.
As an FYI, all otyughs share the same voice actor as Audrey 2 from “Little Shop of Horrors.”
Now I’m stuck wondering if the Handbook-verse has an alternate Prime that was conquered by Otyughs….
Sewers is where everyone has to be reminded about dieseases and the difference between antiplague and antitoxins, as well as creepy crawly man eating beasties. Sewers also bring something to an adventure you can’t normally get in a cave romp; water terrain. Sudden flash floods, beasts lurking in the sludge, drowning. All of that good stuff. Always bring a Paladin down there; who’d a thought the knight in shining armor works best in disease ridden filth and tunnels.
The best thing about paladins is that their armor is non-stick. It’s like Legolas walking on the snow in Fellowship. Everybody else is struggling along, covered in shit and looking miserable, while Mr. Golden Boy remains pine fresh and spotless.
The dirtiest of jobs require the cleanest of people.
I suspect Mike Rowe said that.
“Why would he carve THPPTPHTPHPHHPH?!”
“Maybe he was dictating…?”
Stop that. It’s silly.
One item that has become a staple in my worlds is the “jelly hole,” a pit with a gelatinous cube at the bottom and wooden seats with a hole in them at the top. Great way for organic waste disposal, and can be used to build flavor for a place. Does the poor village only have a single public latrine? Maybe it’s not a latrine, but a dump and people bring their chamber pots there. Perhaps the noble is so wealthy their mansion has multiple with ornate seating.
One thing I admit I had not considered is how this affects city sewer systems. I usually solve the “medieval waste” problem with public jelly holes and “jelly carts” (a cart with a cube in it pulled by a team of oxen or an elephant). Also a nice way to show the poor, neglected areas of the city by the crap in the streets. However, if a city is using such a system for their waste disposal, would they really build a sewer system? Perhaps doesn’t, which could give the players a bit of a “culture shock.” Or maybe they did from before jelly holes became popular, and now the systems are in disuse, which means the usual detritus eaters that reside there are no longer holding back other dangerous creatures that could inhabit the sewers. Or maybe the city had sewers already, and the mayor got the genius, foolproof idea to just release a bunch of gelatinous cubes into them to clean them up and keep down rats and otyughs.
I’ll be honest, I’ve never actually run a sewer encounter nor played in one, and I hadn’t before given thought into how mass use of gelatinous cubes for sanitation would affect this classic fantasy trope.
They would still need storm sewers to deal with flooding.
From one of my modules:
Geletinous Cube, made by resurrecting the bone marrow within skeletons.
Oracle would be unhappy here. She’s short, and short isn’t a good thing to be when the tall folks are up to their necks in shit…
However, halflings make natural plumbers:
https://www.picclickimg.com/00/s/ODEwWDE0NDA=/z/n1IAAOSwl9BWLC1b/$/Super-Mario-Little-Mario-Mushroom-Big-Mario-T-Shirt-_1.jpg
They go into the business with the hope of collecting bigwig mushrooms and gaining a little respect:
https://outoftheabyss-123.obsidianportal.com/adventure-log/mushrooms-of-the-underdark