There’s something primal in the geek lizard brain. It’s composed of equal parts Return of the Jedi and Life of Brian (NSFW, language), and it’s all about gaining that sweet, sweet band of fanatical followers.

Those of you who have had the pleasure of adventuring in Creation know how fun a few dots in Cult can be. After all, it’s tough for an Exalted god-king to feel properly puissant without at least a village’s worth of peons making their daily prayers and offerings. And let me tell ya, getting all the way up to primary-deity-of-an-entire-nation levels of Cult is balm for the ‘ol ego. What with the festivals held in your name and multiple sacred cities founded in your honor, it’s not hard to understand why someone would want the job. Of course, by the time you hit that milestone, you could be forgiven for humming along with Miguel and Tulio. When you’re a god, everything from invasions to plagues to King Solomon style moral quandaries get laid at your feet. And that mess is tough to deal with even if you actually possess anime protagonist levels of power.

Antipaladin and company may be semi-competent adventurers, but they’re not exactly punching at the demigod weight class. You can expect their rule over that hapless tribe of lizardfolk to be both short and bloody. That’s because, if you do take the conman’s shortcut to divinity, the problems come thick and fast. You’ve got to quell the doubters. You’ve got to avoid all signs of weakness or injury. You have to perform miracles, invent excuses when you can’t, and keep up with the charade when you priests begin to question you concerning obscure points of dogma.

And so, for the sake of any would-be con artist gods out there, let’s talk about best practice. When you’re trying to pull off the biggest of the big lies and set yourself up as a living divinity, what are the dos and don’ts? Is there a minimum Bluff score? Do you need magic to wow the yokels, or can you get away with some well-placed parlor tricks? And if you’re a god-of-convenience rather than a long-term deity, how do you get rich and then get out before your worshipers catch wise? Tell us all about your own brushes with divine impersonation down in the comments!


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