After-Yule Sale
Happy After-Yule Sale everyone! Being Handbook-World’s premiere shopping event (or at least the slightly safer option), it is the place to find marked-down and vintage magic items. That dress for example? It’s an ultra-rare gown of the goo-goo muck. Not only does it confer minor bonuses to Perform (dance), you also attract mysterious murders and gothic intrigues when you wear it. (You can see why resident goth girls Witch and Van Helscion are fighting for it.)
Today’s comic might be the result of a (very) random holiday Patreon poll, but I am pleased that it’s given us the opportunity to talk about gag items. The wand of smiles springs to mind as a prime example of the genre. Ditto the cloak of billowing. These kinds of items have little impact from a mechanical standpoint, but they are exactly the kinds of imaginary props that can fire your imagination.
In my experience, festivals and holiday sessions are some of the best times to hand ’em out. They can reinforce a chosen theme (Halloween candy that casts spoopy ghost sound when eaten), confer a bit of interesting lore (animated shadow puppets that act out The First King’s Ascension), or even use IRL objects that also exist in the game world (it casts the light cantrip)! The beauty is that you don’t have to worry overmuch about balance or action economy. You just get to image a bit of magic, then stand back and watch as it appears in your fiction.
So while we paint new minis, pour over new source books, and thank Santa for the many dice left in our collective stocking, what do you say we pause to consider these oft-overlooked pieces of game design? Your assignment for today’s discussion:
- Pick any holiday (from the real world or in-game).
- Design an appropriate gag item for the occasion.
If we are collectively creative, we all might walk away from today’s comment section with some useful items to hand out in our own campaigns.
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Aww, guess we ain’t using my Christmas encounter prompts this year. Oh well.
Gag items wise:
Performers Pipe
This magical tobacco pipe is enchanted to entertain the user and onlookers. It can be smoked without any tobacco (in which case it produces clouds of vapor) and the user may mentally command the clouds produced to take a specific shape, as well as animate in a minor fashion (for example, into the shape of a roaring dragon, or dancing letters). Once per day, the user can cause the pipe to fill the users space with thick, vision-obscuring smoke/vapor and simultaneously cast Vanish on themselves, allowing for a fanciful exit or escape.
Dammit! You got buried in 10 pages of bullet-pointed “comic ideas” notes. Remind me next Thanksgiving and we’ll make it happen.
As for the item, I love the concept. Who doesn’t want Gandalf’s pipe? I suspect that this “cape of the mountebank” type effect is pretty strong though, and may just elevate it out of “gag item” territory. Maybe there’s a lesser and greater version?
Aye, that’s a good balancing. I also forgot to add that you can alter the smokes color and smell (if any) as well. Puff orange apricot-scented smoke!
Hmm, actually, that could be a different gag item…
Personal Perfume
This perfume bottle contains ten doses of magical perfume that refills each day. The scent of the perfume is whatever scent its user desires by speaking it aloud when puffed. If no desire is given, it instead produces a unique scent tailored to the individuals tastes – unique enough for creatures with the scent ability to distinguish it.
I assume that if you fill it with dish soap, you can manipulate the resulting bubbles.
Is that a three-eyed monster hiding in the guise of a fir-tree?
Good spot! That is a yule-loghemoth, a festive frog with a masterful command of camouflage.
1) Red & white striped shepherd’s crook (as quarterstaff+0). Renders the air minty fresh for the wielder. Upon scoring a Crit., foe must make a DC 10 Will save or be *dazed* while visions of sugarplums dance in their head (lose 1 action).
2) Golden bell: *detect good outsider* (3 mile radius) Additionally, whenever an aasimar or favored soul within range activates their *wings* ability, the bell rings.
The candy-cane is a great variation on the gag item: the cosmetic weapon. The save DC is so rare and low that it is almost not an ability. Really strong stuff.
Lunar Creature Totems
A set of 12 totems that, for a duration of one year out of twelve, grant the bearer a limited shapeshifting power.
The bearer can choose to transform into an appearance similar to one as though they had some form of lycanthropy, except they become a mix between their base race and the zodiac animal corresponding to the current lunar year.
The set doesn’t need to be complete to use this shapeshifting ability, but the totem corresponding to the current year’s animal must be present.
Jackie Chan Adventures cosmetics? Hell yeah!
I bet you could add some very minor abilities from the shifter list as a bonus:
https://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/base-classes/shifter/
Halloween is the best holiday (I will not be taking questions), so obviously I’m picking that.
Traditionally, Halloween marked the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter—a liminal time when spirits and dead gods* could more easily enter the mortal world; they would inflict mischief or violence if you angered them, but could also reward those who treated them well. In the modern era, children (sorta kinda arguably) take on the role of these spirits, threatening tricks if you don’t treat them.
So, imagine a cross between a deck of many things, Bertie Bott’s beans, and a quest-giver. It’s a bowl of candy, each with a petty ghost/faerie/devil/whatever bound within. They are, of course, released by eating the candies.
Once a spirit is released, the spirit tasks the eater with a little task. Completing the task quickly enough gives a small reward; failing to do so, or doing certain things that would anger the spirit, results in a small punishment. And of course, there would be a big table, listing the type of candy, the spirit bound within, the task requested, any taboo behavior, and the reward/punishment for success/failure.
It’s a fun adventuring party game!
*Well, folklorified versions of gods that the Big J didn’t let people worship. But “dead gods” sounds more dramatic.
Based on a national holiday:
The Barrel of Cats
This Barrel has a black cat painted on it on each side. It has 5 hardness and 10 hit points. Repairing the barrel once damaged, causes it to lose all magical abilities.
When struck with a bludgeoning weapon hard enough to cause at least one hit point of damage past the hardness, a cat springs forth from the marking furthest from the impact.
The cat is friendly, but does not obey you (it is after all, a cat).
Whomever destroys the barrel using bludgeoning damage, becomes the King/Queen/Monarch of Cats. They may give any cats summoned by the barrel one command, which they will understand.
The cats are however still under no obligation to obey (again, they are cats).
Using a club is traditional, and the barral is traditionally filled with candy, but neither of these things are part of the magic.
Day of the blood and the dead blood filled piñata* 😀
*mops sold apart 😛
Spectacles of Spectacle: This set of eye-wear has wide, brightly colored limbs and frames made of an incredibly light material that feels somewhat delicate to the touch. The frames are colored in garish, clashing colors on the outside, and drab browns on the side closest to the skin when worn. The lenses are flexible and shatter proof, but perpetually slightly smudged.
While wearing these glasses, all light sources look surrounded by echos of themselves in fantastic sprays of color, turning a series of street lights into a dazzling array, or making the surface of a lake go from sparkling to overwhelming. Everything seems a little more magical, if only for a time.
Once per short rest, when receiving the benefits of a performance-based boost (Bardic Inspiration, Inspiring Leader, Chef’s Meal), you can roll twice to determine the numerical benefit, and take the higher number as you experience it with a new sense of wonder.
These glasses do not require atunement, and are meant to be shared around during drawn out events, so that everyone can enjoy, smudges and all.
Thanks for sharing handbook world with us, Claire, and a Happy New Year to everyone!
Pristine Apparel
This set of ordinary clothing is enchanted to be worn for a lifetime. On command, the wearer of such clothing can cast prestidigitation, but only to clean or change the color of the clothing. In addition, the clothes constantly self-repair from minor or superficial damage, as though subject to a Mending spell. If wet, the clothes dry out after 5 rounds.
Innocuous gong
This tiny, palm sized gong, comes with a matching finger-sized baton. If a command word is spoken before being rung, it will roduce a much louder noise, as though it was a large-sized gong rung at full power.
Paper Bird
This origami bird can be commanded to float, fly and glide around in an area.
is this goth flirting
Mistletoe of the Cherished Companions
This seemingly ordinary sprig of mistletoe was harvested from a great and ancient oak tree said to be sacred to an evil god of loneliness and nihilism; the mistletoe was planted by a kindly deity of love as a gift to slightly ease the god’s sorrows and those of its pilgrims. If tied by a red ribbon and affixed to a loving tree, for 24 hours any two beings who share an act of affection beneath it–such as a kiss or a meaningful embrace–gain +1 bonus on saves against fear or saves against effects that would turn them against their counterpart. Over the next 24 hours or until they next rest, when one affected creature takes a Stride action, their counterpart may immediately Stride towards them as a reaction. Once they have used this reaction, the effect ends, and those two creatures may not use the mistletoe again with one another for one year.
*living tree, but that’s a funny typo here. can you tell i wrote this on my phone
An item I like to hand out is “Extradimensional clips”: When one clip from the set is placed on an item that makes an extradtimensional space like a Bag of Holding, and another is placed on a nonmagical object of comparable design, while they’re within 1 mile of each other the other clipped items can be used to access the same space. Gives you a party inventory.
There is another webcomic out there that has provided an infinite source of ridiculous gag items:
https://rustyandco.com/extras/magicitemgenerator/
Some are useful, some are bad, and some are just plain weird. (It IS a randomizer, after all.)
I’ve also invented the “sword of anticlimax”. I’ve never run a campaign, but it’s a thing I think I would like to do — and this one is honestly quite hilarious.
Sword of Anticlimax
When this longsword is dramatically thrust aloft, it glows with a brilliant white light and a far-off rumble can be heard approaching. Every creature that can in some way perceive the sword finds their attention drawn to it, and feels a sense of great anticipation. After 6 seconds, the effects abruptly die away and the character is left holding a sword in the air.
Wait, is there a time-zone disparity here? My device clock says 7:13 but my comments say they were posted at 5:10 & 5:12.
I think I have to approve them manually when there’s a link and/or if you’re a first-time poster.
The Political Statement
This barrel is filled with alchemical explosives, and can be activated to damage the structure it is placed underneath as if it had been affected by the Earthquake spell. Fuse optional.
Lectern of Sorting
While a written document is placed on the lectern, all the characters in it are sorted lexicographically. No, not the words, the characters. Put a book on it and you can expect the first several pages will just be filled with A’s…
One item one of my GMs gave the party is the Bagpipes of Invisibility. As long as the user is playing the bagpipes, they turn invisible. This does nothing for the sound of the bagpipes.