The third worst feeling in gaming: Watching your weapon skitter across the rim of the volcano, teeter on the precipice, and then pitch over the side.

The second worst feeling in gaming: Having to continue the fight against the magma dragon with your bare hands.

The worst feeling in gaming: Stepping on a d4.

While a comfy pair of designer slippers can guard against the latter, it takes a bit of planning and foresight to deal with the former. That may go against your character as a fighty-man, but remember Thrognor: You can’t let the party wizard be the only guy that prepares contingencies. That’s because disarming happens. Thieves happen. Rust monsters happen. And when these things happen, you’re going to wish you had a fallback option hanging at your hip.

If I think back to high school, I believe that my literal very-first-ever combat encounter was against a gray ooze. I didn’t know an ooze from an otyugh at that point in my career, so of course I stabbed it merrily with my halfling’s lone weapon: the masterwork short sword I’d shelled out for at character gen. When the inevitable happened, I concluded that 1) my DM was a jerk, and 2) I’d never let that mess happen again.

Over a decade later, I found myself grappled by a ghoul in Foxglove Manor. It was a different system, I was a more seasoned gamer, but I hadn’t forgotten the lessons of my youth. With my half-orc barbarian’s bastard sword rendered useless by the grapple, I let the big two-hander fall to the floor. In its place I drew forth my trusty silvered dagger, and proceeded to go absolutely HAM against that undead dickbag. I know it’s a basic move, but I still felt unreasonably proud at the time. I like to think high school Colin would have been proud of me too.

What about the rest of you guys? Have you ever been caught without a backup weapon? Conversely, do you tromp around like a walking armory, carrying a golf bag full of spare polearms? Let’s hear you best stories of clever weapon loadouts down in the comments!


ADD SOME NSFW TO YOUR FANTASY! If you’ve ever been curious about that Handbook of Erotic Fantasy banner down at the bottom of the page, then you should check out the “Quest Giver” reward level over on The Handbook of Heroes Patreon. Twice a month you’ll get to see what the Handbook cast get up to when the lights go out. Adults only, 18+ years of age, etc. etc.