In Handbook-World, a TPK is like Black Friday. They’re great for the local economy, but a bit shit if you’ve been unexpectedly resurrected. Case in point: After the untimely demise of The Anti-Party, certain of their effects went up for sale. Gunslinger made off with Sorcerer’s supply of bat guano and sulfur. Barbarian’s hair salon is under new management. And Oracle’s backlog of prophecy turned out to be way cheaper than paper towels. Fighter is just being economical!

Of course, this is the problem with prophecy in general. In the same way that we discussed the fallibility of illusion magic last week, the fallibility of divination makes for equally wonky gameplay.

For example, just this afternoon my avenging gunslinger/inquisitor/follower-of-Iomedae found herself faced with a moral quandary. The gang had rediscovered a lost civilization of ice elves. They seemed perfectly content in their secluded tundra home β€” writing poetry, practicing free love, and living a life of semi-decadent ease. Their major pastime was eating hallucinogenic clams, and I’m pretty sure that’s only because lotuses don’t thrive at those latitudes.

“Why do you speak of other gods?” they asked my holy gunslinger. “There is only one god. Her name is Calistria, and she gives us beauty and pleasure and all good things.”

The party side-eyed one another. “This wouldn’t be the same Calistria who’s all about lust, revenge, and trickery, would it?”

“Wat?” they asked us.

“Wat?” we replied.

And then there was a huddle. Was it our responsibility to tell these benighted people about the outside world? They seemed happy enough. Why bring trade and the dubious benefits of “””civilization””” to their cozy little world? And besides, it wouldn’t be a good idea to offend the most vindictive bitch in the pantheon.

“So like… You wanna talk to her?” said their priest.

“Talk to who?”

“The goddess Calistria. I’ve got her on hold.”

It was a commune spell, and it was the first time any of us had a direct line to divinity. And here’s where THE POINT of this little anecdote comes in. My questions went as follows.

1. Is it your will that we leave these people to their own devices?

IT IS MY WILL.

2. Would my own goddess, Iomedae, agree with you?

OF COURSE.

3. How can we protect these people from the encroaching railroad-baron dwarves?

I WILL PROTECT THEM. I WOULD NEVER LET ANYONE HARM MY… PETS. WE HAVE NO ENEMIES HERE.

I’ve never had to roll Sense Motive on a deity before. But you’d better believe that the word “pets” set my Good-PC senses tingling. And because it got my back up, I went ahead and said the impolitic thing: “Call them ‘pets’ again and you will have an enemy, goddess or no.” I’m pretty sure this was not the smartest thing to say to a goddess of revenge. I’ll be sure to let you know when I pay for my impudence.

More to the point,Β  it reveals the same weakness of divination that Fighter is experiencing in today’s comic. When you are forced to interpret prophecy, wordplay, or strange visions of any kind, you are at the mercy of your own insight. Did you read the situation right? Where is lie? What could you have misinterpreted? It’s questions like these that lead to our own question of the day!

When have you gone wrong with divination in your own game? Tell us all about your own Cassandra moments down in the comments!