Holy crap! Are we witnessing the formation of a new party? You mean to tell me there was foreshadowing and everything? And now there’s some kind of Ghostbusters vibe going on between a newly-neutral Necromancer, our cheatyface Occultist, and the vampire hunting Van Helscion? Be still my undead, desiccated heart!

Of course, this joyful act of party formation  coincides with a truly dire situation. I’m not talking about the vampire apocalypse though. I’m talking about the need to choose a party name.

I see this mess most often when I’m running one-shots. At a convention or a low-stakes game night, there’s no behind-the-scenes work going on in Discord. No weekly geek luncheon where the gamers can discuss their options at leisure. The adventure is happening now. You’ve got to give an answer on the spot. The NPCs expect it.

“Thank you, heroes, for agreeing to undertake this quest! What name shall I put down in the royal ledgers?”

A moment of constipated silence usually follows. The players side-eye one another. Someone says “um.” But then the names start to tumble out.

“We’re called The Establishment! We’re known throughout the land as The Fuckups! You can call us The Blackguards. Bard and Company. The Exterminators! Dragon Slayers LLC, Mötley Crüe, The Party Party, etc.!”

I think that The Fuckups were my favorites out of the bunch. The king in that session was all like, “Really?” when my Gen Con pals told him. And then the ancient being of primordial power that they’d awakened at the end of the adventure was all, “I shall wake my brothers in turn. They most know that demons have returned to the land. And I shall tell them to lift their voices in song to praise The Fuckups.” Cue cheers and giggling.

Of course, some parties are harder to name than others. And that is why I turn to you, O denizens of Handbook-World, for your collective wisdom. What should we call this new party of eldritch adventurers? Give us your best suggestions in the comments, and we’ll throw them in front of our Quest Givers on Patreon for the final selection. All clear? All set? (Do you like Necromancer’s fancy new dress?) Then name that party!