Magic Weapon
If you’re building a party of stalwart adventurers, the first slot to fill is “the big guy.” He’s the dude who loves to charge. The armored juggernaut who’s happy to take a hit. The rage monster throwing punches, small boulders, and small buildings at your enemies. But if you want to know what it’s like to be “the big guy,” then you’re going to want to experience the magic of beating a motherfucker with another motherfucker. While the best way to do that is probably (sickeningly!) via telekinesis, there is no substitute for body bludgeon. Sure there’s that old 3.5 feat called fling ally, and sure it may have the best art ever printed in an RPG product, but for pure big guy bliss there’s nothing better than picking up a goblin and beating another goblin with the first goblin.
Of course, if in the heat of the moment you happen to grab the party wizard as your improvised beatstick, it is advisable to deal nonlethal damage with him. After all, you’re not going to cast haste on yourself!
ADD SOME NSFW TO YOUR FANTASY! If you’ve ever been curious about that Handbook of Erotic Fantasy banner down at the bottom of the page, then you should check out the “Quest Giver” reward level over on The Handbook of Heroes Patreon. Twice a month you’ll get to see what the Handbook cast get up to when the lights go out. Adults only, 18+ years of age, etc. etc.
Only thing to do in Wizard’s position is to cast Stoneskin on himself and then Telekinesis on Fighter. =D
I’m guessing that Wizard will have to base his concentration check on the “extremely violent motion while casting” DC.
The closest I’ve come to beating someone with anther guy was in a home brew game. I was playing a crippled dwarf inventor, who started with robo legs and ended up at 15 foot tall giant mech that he could ride in. Grom got to do all the classics for big guys, he kook aid maned (burst through a wall onto some unsuspecting goons, wielded a tree as a baseball bat, and most importantly to the topic at hand wielded baby vampires fledglings as improvised ranged weapons against there vampire lord. Nothing demoralizes a big bad like having his first born killed infront of him when his newest child is thrown through his chest.
All you’ve got to do is play a monk. The monk rules state that an unarmed strike can be any part of the body; it does not specify YOUR body. And really, what is a body bludgeon if not a full-body unarmed strike?
Context. You’ve got to learn to appreciate context: https://www.handbookofheroes.com/archives/comic/context
Another story from Galaxy-brain, this time from a Shadowrun campaign. For those who don’t know, Shadowrun is a game set in a magical cyberpunk dystopia where the rich and powerful blithely spend the lives of the poor and desperate to fuel their personal or business ambitions…so basically today, but cooler.
Anyways. The important thing to note there is that basically everyone has guns. But not Galaxy-Brain; he’s playing a troll who punches stuff hard! (I don’t think he was even a physical adept, just a troll.) He didn’t buy a gun, he didn’t accept anyone’s spare guns, he turned down free tranq guns our employer offered.
So when we were fighting a security guard who he couldn’t run up to and punch (I don’t remember why), he had three options. Sit there and make a mental note to buy a gun later; ask to borrow someone’s spare; or…well, you’ve read the comic, you can guess.
The best part is the character he picked, who had taken traits (I think called Psychotic and Vindictive?) which obligated him to violently avenge such slights/actions that put him in immense danger. Sadly, this lead to the end of the campaign and not an epiphany for GB.