Little known fact, but evil lairs have terrible insulation. It gets absolutely sweltering in there in the summer! Of course, the Evil Party’s new wall AC unit is just one small consequence of a broader theme.

One of my DM buddies insists that, if D&D  were real, every soldier in every army would have at least one caster level. Quality of life spells like create water, create bonfire, and mending would all be invaluable for a fighter force on the go. But if you follow that line of reasoning, you begin to wonder what other spells a normal person would actually need. And that in turn raises an interesting question: Are there any non-adventuring spells that simply aren’t listed in the Magic chapter?

Think about it. Our rulebooks were written with violent casters in mind: mages who regularly venture into dungeons and blast seven hells out of their residents. But every settlement you’ve ever come across has a cleric in his temple and local druid in her tree house. What are they doing all day? And more importantly, what are they casting?

Suppose you’re a bog-standard village wizard. Your day consists of advising the town council about arcane matters, feeding mice to your pet owl, and scaring would-be apprentices off your front lawn. There’s relatively little use for fireball and chain lightning in your day-to-day existence. Chances are you’d want spells to make scrivening easier. Maybe something like a magical copy + paste or a search function. Perhaps you could use some kind of illusion spell as a ring tone / alarm clock to remind you of important appointments? What if you’re a randy old bugger? Then you’ll definitely need some from of magical contraceptive. And if that means you’re heading out for a hot wizard date, you might want cosmetic spells that do slightly more than clean your favorite robe.

So for today’s discussion, what do you say we put our heads together and come up with a few spells that ought to exist? I’m talking about the non-adventuring, quality of life stuff that you’d like in your everyday life. Sound off with all your best ideas down in the comments! And if you’re feeling really creative, invent a few spells that would be helpful in our modern world as well!


THIS COMIC SUCKS! IT NEEDS MORE [INSERT OPINION HERE] Is your favorite class missing from the Handbook of Heroes? Maybe you want to see more dragonborn or aarakocra? Then check out the “Quest Giver” reward level over on the The Handbook of Heroes Patreon. You’ll become part of the monthly vote to see which elements get featured in the comic next!