Bet you didn’t know the recipe for potion of cure light wounds was just “superglue,” did ya? See there? You learned something today.

This particular comic comes courtesy of Betrayal at House on the HillIt’s an all-time favorite from undergrad, and I recently got to dust it off for some buddies from work. Just look at all those tiles and tokens and precariously balanced miniatures arranged like so many bowling pins upon the play surface. Add in a dice pool system and a couple bottles of wine, and you’ve got yourself analog pinball just waiting to happen.

I still insist that my banshee was in the Creaky Hallway, not the Junk Room. Grumble grumble.

No doubt you all have had this moment in your gaming careers as well. Errant dice have been known break minis, ding kitchen tables, and disappear into pocket dimensions of their own creation (or at least beneath the couch). The conventional wisdom is to invest in a dice tray. But in the heat of the moment, overly excited players jacked up on Mountain Dew and death saving throws will find a way to miss the tray. That’s when everyone goes scrambling.

“It went behind the fridge!”

“Well move the fridge then.”

“No! You might disturb the die! Someone get a flashlight so we know if Bob is dead!”

These shenanigans are occasionally hilarious, but they’re always disruptive. That in turn leads to house rules like “if it’s off the table it’s a reroll” or “if it touches a mini it’s an auto-fail.” These I deem harsh but fair penalties. And I know at least one one-armed dwarf who agrees.

So for today’s discussion, let’s talk about the very serious issue of “roll hards.” How do you dissuade these players from their polyhedral hulk-outs? What items do you use to protect your table’s precious rosewood finish? And have you ever lost a die in the cracks of space and time, only to find it again in the laundry hamper several years later? If so, tell us all about it down in the comments!


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