Spare Parts
Remember when we talked about the idea of a cannibalism taboo in a world of multiple sentient species? Sure you do. Fighter was eating a goblin at the time. Well today’s comic has been simmering for a long time, and it rises from that same pressing question: Is it OK to treat sentient species like animals?
The obvious answer is a resounding “no.” There’s a reason that every orc shaman wears a skull mask and every demon altar is made from human viscera. That mess is straight up creepy.
But imagine what it’s got to be like as a young silver dragon. There you are in your first human settlement, all shapeshifted and trying to blend in. You’re a goodly creature. You’re chivalrous. You’re all set to hand out your big plot quest to a band of likely heroes. But then the first schmuck to answer your call to adventure swaggers up wearing the remains of your poor uncle Glorithon for a hat. That’s got to be pretty off-putting.
And sure, I know that depending on what source book you read, you’ll learn that dragons collect their cast-off scales and gift them to humanoids. But you know what I think? I think that’s pure propaganda from the dragon scale mail industry. I’ll bet you anything there are killing floors beneath those trendy dragon scale boutiques. They’re probably full of half-flayed metallic dragons passed out in icy tubs. They very likely have “see a cleric” notes taped to their snouts.
…
I may have an adventure to write.
What do you think though? Does turning your slain enemies into gear bother you at all? Or does that strike you as good and proper behavior for an adventurer? Let’s hear it in the comments!
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“I think that’s pure propaganda from the dragon scale mail industry. I’ll bet you anything there are killing floors beneath those trendy dragon scale boutiques. They’re probably full of half-flayed metallic dragons passed out in icy tubs. They very likely have “see a cleric” notes taped to their snouts.”
In one campaign, we ended up venturing down to Menzoberranzen for a time. While we were there, we stumbled upon a deep dragon massage parlor set up by a clever gnome. He would charge the deep dragons for the massage service, collect information from their gossip (which he would sell), and collect their cast-off scales (apparently good for spell ink.) There’s more than one way to scale a dragon. 😀
“Does turning your slain enemies into gear bother you at all? Or does that strike you as good and proper behavior for an adventurer?”
I haven’t had a character yet who could resist the siren song of dragon parts. I wouldn’t wear a *good* dragon on any of my good characters, but an evil one, absolutely. Teeth, scales, wing leather, bones, all are used.
Seriously,
* War Cleric – Captain’s coat made of red shadow dragon scales.
* Arcane Trickster – Biker jacket made from red dragon wing leather.
* Barb/Rogue – Dragon god skull helm.
* Skeletwins – Dragon skull helm and dragon fang daggers for the one twin, brass dragon wing leather armor for the other. (Brass is usually good aligned, but this one wasn’t sane.)
* Wizard – Is a dragon.
Aw man. And here I thought I was being creative. Ecclesiastes 1:9 strikes again!
You ever watch Star vs. the Forces of Evil? It’s got my favorite dragon-part item in recent memory.
There is nothing new under the sun, man.
Strictly speaking Nachos the dragon-cycle probably isn’t part dragon or made of dragon parts, he’s probably a dragon who had its legs and feet magically melded into wheels
It’s a magic item. It’s got dragon parts. QED…
😛
Also, I sincerely hope that there are dragon-cycle stats out there somewhere. Nachos deserves to be a noble steed in someone’s Starfinder game.
Star is the best Disney Princess ever, even beating out San (Princess Mononoke), Fang (from Dave the Barbarian), and Leia Organa (from Star Wars)
I dunno. Vanellope von Schweetz is pretty legit.
Dragons in my setting were once basically the perfect mortal beings until they were cursed by sore loser elves and all of them are currently in the process of slowly going insane to the point of mentally regressing to beasts. Wearing bits of dragon is kind of iffy when you consider that they used to be awesome cool guys(awesome cool guys who you are almost certainly descended from, because dragons and humans are the two things that can basically breed with anything).
Yah. A buddy of mine in Out of the Abyss just rolled for gold dragon scale mail as random loot. The question of whether that would be a positive or a negative in a social encounter with a red dragon suddenly became pressing, hence today’s comic.
If anything wearing gold dragon remains when chatting up a red dragon seems like a plus, iirc red dragons aren’t fond of the golden counterparts so knowing one died to create the armor they’re wearing might make them a little bit happy inside
Well that’s what I thought too. But that bit I wrote up about dragons collecting their cast-off scales and gifting them to humanoids? It comes straight out of the 5e item description:
https://open5e.com/equipment/magic-items/dragon-scale-mail.html
The game was put on hold for parliamentary style debate.
I’ve always had a mind for venturing out into the world, and slaying creatures for their valuable “talismanic components”: http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/variant-magic-rules/talismanic-components/ (Seriously, how do you make a link clickable in this thing?)
Using stuff like powdered Razor Boar tusk for a vorpal weapon, or some other exotic creature parts not listed. It adds a bit of fluff, and great quest potential, to the process of making a magic weapon, and cuts down on the gold out of the player’s pocket.
Also, a little plot hook that came to mind: A dragon setting up shop in an undead infested region, selling doses of it’s blood to cure the oh so dreaded negative levels afflicted by some more powerful undead. Just goes to say not all exotic materials and substances have to be obtained by means of slaughter. It just takes a crafty player, or DM, to find ways to do these things unconventionally.
Formatting info lives over here.
Thanks for that link! I’ve been looking at the d20 metamagic components for years, but never realized that there was anything close lurking in Ultimate Campaign.
For me, it really depends on the setting and how it treats the sapients. I’ve given a long winded post before on how different settings treat different evil monsters, so I won’t rehash it here. Instead I’ll just say that, imho, wearing red dragon scale mail in, say, Eberron is much different than wearing red dragon scale mail in Dragonlance.
So we’ll call that the moral planar subjective stance.
in my pathfinder campaign we were dealing with a brine dragon that mind contoled by some dark tapestry and it killed it self after stopping a magic ritual all and all it was messed up. so after the fight the fighter took the scales and made some armor out of them, my gunslinger did want the scales or the armor beacuse he feels like they were tainted. as i side note what do you think of starfinder?
Oh, did you see the Starfinder post over on Handbook’s FB page? For reference, it linked over to here:
https://adventureaweek.com/shop/starfinder/star-system-set-muinmos-full-set/?doing_wp_cron=1503067684.5092670917510986328125
I ran project lead on that series, so I’ve been up to my armpits in Starfinder for the past couple of months.
As an Amber / Thundarr the Barbarian / Book of the New Sun fan, I’m all kinds of excited to take this thing for a spin at my home table. I particularly love the premise of a free starship that levels up with you. Friggin’ genius way to make the party feel invested in their boat.
I think the whole evil sapient thing works as a decent excuse.
Especially with wyverns. Seriously. Screw. Wyverns.
When that one-eyed bastard shows up on his whole forever grudge trip for killing his two buddies, after they started that fight then mauled one of us to death.
I’m gonna finish what I started with his eye and wear whatever is left as a coat.
I’m pretty sure you wrote this comment while glowering into a pint of grog at a seedy seaside tavern.
Lol
May have slipped into character there.
I was the one mauled to death. She sorta has a complex now about wyverns. . . Had a bit of a panic attack the second time Ol’ One-Eye decided to show up again.
It’s hounds of tindalos for me. I’m now freaked out by right angles. Getting flayed alive will do that to you.
There is a reason why liches can’t just sacrifice 1HD goblins for their phylactries. The victims have to be “innocent”. It kinda comes down to how I houserule the general code of conduct for paladins (or any other good-aligned characters):
– Monster: Attacks on sight. Shows no mercy. – Can use it however without much fear of consequence.
– Adversary: Warns or threatens PC before fighting. Captures ones who surrender (execution may or may not happen). – Fight if necessary. Show mercy if able. Respec their lives, but help yourself to their possessions (unless it has some great significance e.g. religious symbol).
Bystander: doesn’t want to intentionally do you any harm. – Do not do them any harm, nor take their possessions.
So yes to wearing evil human skin, no to wearing good human skin?
…
Hmmm. Just gave myself the jibblies.
As long as it stops people from being evil…
lol
I think that as long as it’s an evil dragon’s hide or scales, the dragons whose opinion matters to a typical adventuring party – the good ones – would look the other way. It definitely helps that only a couple of settings since D&D/Pathfinder started have actually made dragons more complicated than being conveniently color coded. Some settings treat them like outsiders; gold dragons are required to be LG, red dragons are required to be CE, and there can be no variance because it’s baked right in.
I’m fairly convinced this was done in an effort to make players not question wearing the remains of a sentient, intelligent creature that could conceivably have offspring with someone of their race, which makes a difference. Sorcerers and other dragon descended folks who are aware they are have to deal with the possibility that dragonscale plate used to be Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandpa tend to be a little harsher on the practice. It becomes significantly more acceptable if GGGGGGGrandpa was an evil jerk red dragon who killed a lot of people for fun.
I watched a game once where the quest for a suit of gold dragonscale plate was a plot point, but not the way you’d think. Turns out the paladin was descended from a gold dragon and Ancestor Dragon was on his deathbed. It was the dragon’s will that after he died his remains be left to the paladin, he wanted to be made into a suit of armor and weaponry so that he could continue to fight the good fight against an undead invading army that he’d been fighting for centuries. Getting there before he died and one of his other children claimed his remains – and his belongings – was the quest.
Now I’m picturing this paladin talking to his dragonhide plate like Janeane Garofalo from “Mystery Men.”
In the campaign I was playing my super-efficient druid, the DM killed my very strong wolf instead of going for the TPK, figured it would warn us off. We wound up getting creative and winning and the party ranger asked if he could take the wolf’s hide to honor him by making him into a magic cloak or armor.
At first I agreed, but then realized I could now, since level-up, cast reincarnate. Rolled a 99 and the DM let me bring back my wolf as a direwolf since I could now have one as an animal companion. So the now reincarnated wolf smelled his old hide, and wanted it back. It was turned into hide armor for the direwolf. Now I had a reincarnated companion wearing its own hide as armor. It was terrifying/disturbing so he got a little bonus when he was helping me intimidate NPCs.
Yo dawg, we heard you liked your wolf familiar, so we put your wolf familiar inside your wolf familiar.
Honestly on that note, what about Cubone?
Cubone is a creepy bastard.
https://img06.deviantart.net/f39f/i/2016/005/7/d/creepy_cubone_by_friskyhyena-d9mw2zl.png
It’s a lovely story about a kid who can’t let go of his mother’s memory or her protection… So he wears her skull as a helmet and uses her femur as a club.
And that’s where I got kicked out of the studio.
Guess I’ll just try and fit it in a kids game.
Even more disturbing is the implication that this is the background of EVERY Cubone
I submit that Cubones are cannibalistic, devouring their mothers in infancy. It is one of nature’s cruel jokes that, later in life, they grow intelligent enough to realize what they’ve done.
How many more sizes of wolf can you achieve? I’m picturing Russian nesting wolves. Winter wolves come next, and then we start adding templates until we arrive at giant dire mythical animal templated dire wolves.
Eventually we pass myth and legend. The wolf keeps growing and shedding itself into armor for the next, even bigger wolf, so you finally have Garm turning itself into Fenrir’s armor, which at last splits open and reveals a Hound of Tindalos. The armor turns into the corners of the universe and annihilates itself.
Oh God. What have i done?
（ (≪●≫) ）Д（ (≪●≫) ）
To the people claiming that “but it was evil!” is a legitimate excuse in this situation, let me ask you this – what if the goblin’s new suit of leather armor was evil when alive, too?
How monstrous! I say we invade their warrens, kill their babies, and take all their stuff. That’ll teach ’em that evil doesn’t pay!
Oh no, you misunderstood me. All I meant is that since the Paladin is ok with wearing the dragon scale armor, then he should also stop giving me the stinkeye for my reanimated orphan hit squad. Otherwise, he’s just a hypocrite!
So what you’re saying is… We should give the undead orphans dragon scale armor? If only someone had been willing to spend that much on ’em when they were alive! 😛
Just to note – your RSS feed isn’t working properly. The RSS feed updated with the link to your latest comic half a day or more before the comic went live. Which resulted in a RSS article with a dead link.
Thanks for the heads up, but that was a one-time error. The auto-publisher got set a day early by mistake, so we sent the comic back to draft when we realized what had happened. We have since slain the goblins responsible and looted their bodies.
As of yet our group hasn’t needed to skin, harvest, or otherwise collect the parts of our enemies. On the odd occasion that something of that nature has occured there have been roleplay justifications these included the druid using the corpse of a gnoll to cast a ritual spell and a lizardfolk harvesting the corpse of a goblin to make a bone knife. And so all though all those involved, both attacker and attackee, were sentient because of the nature of the creatures there were no real moral dilemmas. And just for the record the druid was a goblin and the lizardfolk was a necromancer.
I dunno man. Lizardfolk necromancers tend to have moral issues just by existing.
His reasoning was he had to make best use of the wealth of resources given to him, even if those were corpses
Paladin: “Gods above! What are you doing with that corpse?”
Necromancer: “Practicing thrift!”
Aaaand archive trawl completed! Left a couple of comments (one monster one on ‘Haunted House’, one somewhat shorter one on ‘Guild Charter’), and have quite enjoyed the (mis)adventures of the Job Title Gang.
… although I can’t quite resist reading the banner ad below as ‘The Handbook of Erratic Fantasy’, which puts a slightly different spin on things >.>
Well hey, welcome to the comic TeChameleon! Rest assured, the ‘The Handbook of Erratic Fantasy’ is also an accurate description.
We update Mondays and Fridays. I hope to see you back here!
Something to think about, we see items specifically against certain enemies (Giants, dragons, undead, etc.) but little to none against the humanoid races. The only thing that comes to mind is Arrows of Slaying. Dwarves, elves, humans, gnolls, Hell even orcs don’t seem to have things that hurt them more. Implying racism perhaps, even against races that are collectively shit?
I imagine scenarios where someone brings home a half-orc boy/girlfriend and there’s a Sword of Orc Slaying on the mantle. Quite awkward.
Do you know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone do the Romeo and Juliet thing in game. A dwarf bringing home a half-orc boyfriend sounds like a great quest hook.
Once did this in Al Qadim in AD&D2, where the possibility of an Elf-Orc is at least theoretically possible, as they live in the same street sometimes. Main plot was that elf boy eloped with orc girl, and both heads of family/clan independent of each other hired the group to get them back. However, the campaign first veered away from this plot line, and then died because players moved away…
It’s human nature to be drawn to things that are like us and repulsed by things that are unlike us- that’s an evolutionary survival tactic. Obviously, though, it can take place on multiple levels; physical, cultural, moral, etc.
One of my favorite black-comedy moments in a game was when our party encountered an anti-orc racist (speciest?) who we had to deal with for plot-related reasons. This character was thoroughly unlikable in any way, and yet when someone managed to bring up skin-color based racism, he dismissed it out of hand as utterly ridiculous. Everyone stopped and had “gee, is this guy redeemable?” moment. (the answer was no, no he was not, and at the first opportunity we left him to die horribly)
Another good (mostly hypothetical) example is having your party entirely decked out in dragonskin armor, and then they encounter a dragon who gets upset, and the player-party is offended: “these are the skins of an evil dragon, you’re a good dragon, why are you being so sensitive” etc etc etc.
Have the paladin in the same party decorate his pauldrons with orc-skulls and wearing a necklace of goblin ears though, and people will start calling for alignment checks.
Why? Because orcs and goblins are more similar to us than dragons, and so we feel a greater sense of attachment, even if we just spent an entire session slaughtering them all.
Handled well, forcing players to confront their preconceived biases or assumptions can be a good moment for personal growth both in and out of character. Of course like so many other things, there’s also 1001 way to handle it wrong, and sometimes its better to just not take the risk and let your players get back to kills trolls or whatever.
I feel like it’s a faux pas if you’re interacting with a dragon of the same color as your armor, but dragons are egotistical creatures. “Any other lineage obviously wasn’t clever or strong enough to avoid getting turned into a valuable piece of adventuring kit. That would never happen to me, obviously”, thinks the dragon.
Points for in-character draconic arrogance. I feel like that mess applies to every color / metal in the book.
I recall reading a player story once. The creature they were playing was from a plant race – hamadryad maybe? The character would eat the hearts of enemy creatures because they didn’t see it as being anything close to cannibalism since it was a plant and not flesh and blood.