Bickering Gods
The gods have it figured out. They pick out a small number of discrete, well-defined areas of interest, and then they concern themselves exclusively with those things. These portfolios might include the sun, healing, magic, undeath, or even something as specific as rice. It isn’t the subject that’s the important bit though; it’s the focus.
If you’re reading this you’re probably a real human being. That means you’ve got complex emotions. You’ve got a detailed history, likes and dislikes, and a thousand and one personal quirks that make you an individual. The problems come creeping in when you try to apply that same standard to your characters.
I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I’m not a professional actor. I can’t evoke the full range of my lived experience with a subtle twist of expression or tone of voice. When I fill out one of those long character questionnaires, I’ll generally walk away with a few bits of interesting backstory. Unfortunately, somewhere between “how old are you?” and “what’s your favorite smell?” I’ll inevitably lose focus. That’s not an even trade.
This all leads me to one very important conclusion: When it comes to character, clarity is more important than complexity. Some of my most successful characters have been based on Taxi era Danny DeVito, Futurama‘s Zapp Brannigan, or Dr. Orpheus from The Venture Bros. These are not subtle characters. They are selfish, or arrogant, or melodramatic. But even though they started out based on stock characters, they grew and changed through the course of play. Remember how we just decided I’m not a professional actor? Well I’m certainly not good enough to nail a perfect DeVito impression for hundreds of hours worth of play. I didn’t have to though. That character became its own thing over time, and relying on the DeVito template as a start was vital to its success. My fellow players were able to understand who I was and what I was trying to convey immediately. Strong relationships and a satisfying campaign followed.
So here’s my advice: Don’t try to build a complex character. Build a focused one. The complexity will come as you play. Hell, that’s why we play. In the meantime, just pick something and stick to it.
Question of the day then: Have you ever based a PC on an existing character in pop culture? Who was it? Did it work out well? Let’s hear it in the comments!
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Not quite to the extent of basing them off of a single character. I’ve got a sizeable roster of 7-8 characters I commonly play as, to further develop their personalities. I take bits and pieces off of those personalities in other media, and combine them to make the personalities my characters have. Be it the Oracle seeking revenge for any who would break their word to her, the free spirited Magus who, frankly, can be a bit of an ass, or the Kinetic Knight mercenary, a ruthless devil of a man who’s only desire is the thrill of battle.
It’s not often I make a brand new characters.
Any examples? Who are these personalities? How did you incorporate them?
Hmmm, not quite. My Allietta character is based on a Disgaea Archer and I just went “ok so this is obviously going to result in a cute and silly character… let’s just keep pushing that direction and see what happens”.
I’ve always felt like I was supposed to specifically avoid making a character too much like an existing character. But maybe I’ll try it out sometime and see what happens.
Either way, focus absolutely is key. Even if your focus is “this character’s deal is that they’re a jack-of-all trades sort”. Which is a weird sounding focus, but if you know what you mean by that it actually works.
I think I get what you mean with the “jack-of-all trades” example. That’s your schtick. It’s good to have a schtick.
I agree. My example “Dr. Orpheus” certainly has his own backstory. The personality traits are all there though. While I don’t think you want to play “literally Mario” or an armored bounty hunter named “Schmamus Aran,” I’ve found that starting out with that kind of template makes for a strong introduction to character. The differences between your PC and the template character begin to emerge naturally as you continue play.
Ok. Next chance I get I’m making a bounty hunter named Shamus Aron. That’s too funny to pass up.
The most Irish of all space bounty hunters.
For long running campaigns I usually try to develop my own character concept, someone I want to rp as for a long time. One shots, otoh, are my opportunity to go with a much more goofy, crazy guy, the kind of person who is great in small doses but would be maddening to play with for more than one game. Those are also my chance to play crazy pop culture characters, like the Hog Rider from Clash of Clans or Kim Jong Il from Team America: World Police.
I just got back from Dragon Con. I played a cigarette smoking, fedora wearing detective. He was 100% Sam Spade. It was glorious.
I’ve used that technique to help new role players feel comfortable with the game. “Who is your favorite movie or book character? Legolas? Ok, so you want to play a ranger.”
For me, I personally hate those character questionnaires. It doesn’t matter what smell my character loves the most (and if it does, I should just make it up on the spot). What really matters is knowing my character’s motivation, ie. why am I putting my life at risk? If it can’t be summed up in one sentence, it’s probably too complex.
A few of my favorite characters’ motivations:
– An absolutely ancient elf who loved spouting off proverbs of wisdom at every available opportunity.
– A desert prince looking for a magical way to provide water to his city.
– A gnome who wanted to collect bits of exotic animals to discover what exciting flavors they might have.
I always appreciated that Exalted has an “motivation” line at the top of the character sheet, right beside character name and player name. It’s that important. It ought to be at the top of the sheet.
I’ve mentioned him before, but I had a kobold pistolero gunslinger with revolvers who was basically a very short Man With No Name for his first 8 levels. He didn’t wear a hat, but he wore a poncho and basically acted like hardcore early Clint Eastwood for most of his existence.
My current character – a cleric of Gorum – is a huge badger-guy that I’m basically playing as a Badger-lord of Salamandastron. He can even go into a bloodrage if he takes damage in combat – it’s pretty fun. The battle-cry would be pretty out of place though, so I haven’t found an excuse to use it yet. 😛
Then there was an elderly ratfolk monk who dispensed wisdom and experience to those around him. Occasionally with his fists if need be. Unfortunately I couldn’t get Mako to do his voice.
The Man With No Name is a great example. He is a stock character that you can easily transform into your own thing.
As for the Badger-lord, I’ve always loved the gentle giant trope. Being the big guy is a lot of fun, especially when you’re a literal rage badger.
I think you’re right though. Shouting Eulalia! is too on-the-nose outside of an actual Redwall game. However, I think you should absolutely come up with your own war cry. Just…you know…workshop it a bit: https://www.handbookofheroes.com/archives/comic/war-cry
I think everyone’s characters are modeled off of something they’ve seen and liked. God knows a great many of my own are started with “You know, I just read/played/watched that and I want to see more of it.”
And so we get samurai like Shinta, taking notes from Rurouni Kenshin, and wizards like Andalus, who’s smarmy and jovial and quietly calculating like Jade from Tales of the Abyss. The next literary character I plan to admire via roleplaying is Crockta from Praise the Orc.
At your recommendation, I started reading Praise the Orc.
“This sucks,” said I to myself. “It’s just Sword Art. The translation isn’t even that good.”
A few dozen chapters later and I’m still reading. WHY IS THIS SO COMPELLING!?
Don’t tell me that you haven’t mumbled “Bul’tar” to yourself under your breath. I know you have. 😀
I admit nothing.
…
I definitely didn’t name my latest homebrew ale Bul’tar.
Character concepts have been a bit of a rollercoaster for me.
I try go give them personality without going all”Special Snowflake” with that aspect of them.
I think one thing that helps to get into character before a session is to use a character’s catch phrase, in their voice if you do that.
Sort of a trigger mechanism.
Just got to play a trench coat and fedora wearing demigod at a con game. He was also literally a black cat. Nothing better than turning in the gangster’s doorway and saying in your best five-packs-a-day growl, “If you want to come looking for me, you’d better remember: it’s bad luck crossing my path.”
Mine was the shit-eatingest of grins.
Nice! What was the reaction at the table?
Gangster?
What game was it?
We got together with Laurel’s old college buddies for an Exlated 2e game set in Nexus. It was so film noir we got stunt dice for narrating our internal monologues (e.g. “It was a complicated town, but she wasn’t complicated kind of woman. She decided to simplify.” *rolls to punch snitch in the head*) Let me give you the summary in chunks.
CHARACTER PORTRAIT
http://tinaimel.com/wp-content/uploads/photo-gallery/smokingcat.jpg
CHARACTER DESCRIPTION
If you want to find the toughest private dick in Nexus, you’ve just got to walk down alleyways until you smell smoke. That’ll be his favorite brand, Double Happiness.
His name, if he felt like giving it to you, is Gomez Slate. Ask anybody else and they’ll tell you he’s called Baby Grand. A family name apparently. Sure as shit he doesn’t play piano.
Be respectful when you meet him. Look him square in the eye. Don’t mention that he’s a fucking cat. He gets sensitive about that sort of thing. Your best bet is to take him out to the closest sushi stand. Tell him your story while he eats. Way I hear it, he prefers the aka-yagara plate. I don’t know what it is either. Just ask the chef for a “fancy feast.” They all know Mr. Grand. They know what he likes.
Offer to light his cigarette if it goes out. Pay him his half up front without complaining about it. Look man, I don’t know where he keeps his wallet either, but just give him his jade, alright? If half of what they say is true, you’re getting what you pay for. Baby Grand always gets the goods, and he’ll lay it all down at your feet like a fresh-killed rat.
BACKGROUND
In one of my lunar games, a player decided she wanted a cat form. She went hunting for this fat orange cat only to find that he was El Gato Grande, the small god of all house cats. After the big bear lunar spat him out the party learned that other cats became temporarily sentient and gained the power of speech in El Gato Grande’s presence. He didn’t really understand his own powers though, and so he thought that humans were cruel slave owners.
He was a blatant Puss in Boots ripoff. My Antonio Banderas impression got a workout.
Anyway, El Gato Grande needed the party to help him win the love of a certain Persian. Fur as white as the driven snow, etc. You see, while the small fluffy god was usually a great lover, he grew tongue-tied in the presence of his lady love.
And that’s the story of how my players had to do the balcony scene from Cyrano to a fucking cat.
Baby Grand is the god-blooded offspring of El Gato Grande.
REACTION TO ONE LINER
So many high fives. :3
Sorry for multiple posts, but I just remembered when you first brought up your Dr. Orpheus character in a previous page.
How did you do on the uber drama?
I made the mistake of spending every last copper piece at character creation. When we all met at the mandatory inn, I found myself without enough dosh to rent a room. I had to work for my lodging. Enter the overly dramatic busboy.
“Excuse me, Sir. Have you FINISHED YOUR CHEESE PLATE?”
Loving it.
Now I’m thinking what class your Dr. Orpheus-like character would be. Warlock seems obvious but Sorcerer or Wizard is pretty likely. I think he called himself a sorcerer in the show but for the life of me I can’t remember when.
Considering all the theatrics he does it seems like he spams Prestidigitation. Thaumaturgy has “Your voice booms up to three times as loud as normal for 1 minute.” which quite frankly explains his tone but I have no clue what he would worship to have it since it’s a Cleric cantrip.
In a 5e game? Dude would absolutely be a tome pact warlock. No points for guessing who his patron would be:
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/71/bd/d4/71bdd476604e325624d474d295d7da9c–doctor.jpg
As it happens, this is happening in a Pathfinder game, making Emeric Van Rhyn an occultist:
http://www.d20pfsrd.com/occult-adventures/occult-classes/occultist/
You mentioned this as well, but I like doing those exhaustive character quizes mostly just to get a few useful bits of information out of it. Inevitably over the course of brainstorming i’ll have some idea that i’m reasonably enthusiastic about.
One of my favorite questions is “your character carries one item in their pack that is completely unrelated to adventuring. What is it?” Perhaps it is a memento of a family member, or a lucky charm they can’t bear to part with, or maybe it’s a lewd painting for quiet times in your tent. Regardless of what it is, it will always end up informing your character somehow, and because it’s an item, your allies might actually end up seeing it and asking you about it.
I like character quizzes. You will definitely walk away from one with some useful backstory tidbits. I don’t want them to be longer than 10 questions though.
Brainstorming is good, no doubt about it. But I find that if I’m trying to remember who my childhood friend was and what my special object is and whether there’s something I’m scared of and why I got my distinctive tattoo and if it’s relevant to bring up my internship with a medieval barber, I’ll wind up conveying a schizophrenic character rather than a compelling one. It’s the circus lion swatting at the chair legs. You can’t decide which one to hit, so you sit there and look dumb.
My preferred way to play it is improvisation. In a recent one shot, the PCs all belonged to a detective agency. At a pivotal moment in the plot, Laurel’s character had to choose between her friends and the villainous femme fatale. In that moment she decided that my character had taken hers off the streets.
“Sorry, Toots. I was living in a box when the boss took me in. I owe him. Now drop the case and kick it over here.”
It fit the character, it fit the moment, and it didn’t require taking the SAT to make it happen.
You don’t have to answer all the questions, you know. 😛
5e doesn’t really support improvised backgrounds all that much, since your background is actually part of character creation. You could make up details on the fly, but you need a general idea. I prefer it this way, because I find that with a bit of preparation I can make even a somewhat disjointed background into a cohesive character and then make a personality out of it.
Conversely, I find improvised backgrounds to be the most schizophrenic, as there isn’t much chance to give it proper consideration. You might end up with many situational appropriate or amusing bits of history, but wind up with something that doesn’t really work overall. There also might be times where your inspiration fails you and you may have wished you prepared a bit more beforehand.
As a final note, I think up characters all the time, based on a build, a concept, a piece of artwork. Answering questions about them is not an unpleasant use of my time. =)
You also don’t have to eat the full bucket of popcorn. But if it’s right there in front of you, and if it’s just going to go to waste….
More serious answer: I don’t want to know everything about my character when I begin play. I want that backstory to grow and change. I want to discover my character, not invent him. In practice it becomes the choice between preparation on the one hand and flexibility on the other. I suspect this is the same contrast of styles you’ll hear panels of fiction writers debate when asked “do you outline or do you fly by the seat of your pants?” Both can work well, except of course that my way is better and yours is bad-wrong-fun. 😛
Ah, now the most obviously based-on-a-pop-culture character of mine would be McGruder. Note the subtle change of name from McGuyver. He started off as very much the man you should never lock in the storeroom as heaven only knows what would would happen, but along the way developed a bit of an obsession with being able to drive, fly, or ride every mode of transportation known to humankind (this was Danger International, the original version of modern day Hero System). But you should still never lock him in the storeroom.
I always wanted to invent a McGuyver type character based on this stupid thing:
https://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/general-feats/brilliant-planner/
Apparently the optimal use is to get various situational scrolls. I just want to pull string, lighter fluid, and baking soda out of my pack.
Imagine if Cleric ran into a follower of the Lust domain. He must NOT be a fan of the Followers of Sune.
As mentioned, I’ve built a Captain Cold character and tried to build the Flash. I’m also in the middle of making the Hulk and I want to do Spider-Man as well. I like superheroes and trying to get them to work in Pathfinder for both theme and mechanics is an interesting challenge.
I once gm’d an online game where one of the characters was exiled from his family, with a scar around his eye. The only one that would have anything to do with him, was his uncle, who loved tea…
If that’s sounding familiar, well, I’d never watched Avatar the Last Airbender before, and had no idea how much he stole from the show.
Don’t worry. Stealing from Airbender is a proud and noble tradition:
https://www.handbookofheroes.com/archives/comic/original-character
I’ve never gotten to use these characters, but a while back, for fun, I statted up a group of characters based on the protagonists of “Aqua Teen Hunger Force”.
(Stats below are for D&D 3.5e)
A team of out-of-work adventurers of disreputable character, Warlock, Mimic, and Gorn Lord can be found almost anywhere, commiting middling crimes or abusively half-assing some odd job or another; whether selling magic items of dubious quality, ransacking and looting, creating magic items no-questions-asked, blackmailing more villainous ne’erdowells, abandoning the person who’s hired them as bodyguards, framing a random patsy when they tire of an investigation, or simply working at a local tavern and stealing from the till.
“Warlock”
HP 46 (13d6); Fiendish resiliance; DR 3/cold iron
Male Human Expert 1/Warlock 12
LE(LN) Meduim Humanoid (Human)
Init +0; Senses: Detect Magic; Listen +1, Spot +7
Languages: Comprehend Languages (written only); Common, Draconic, Dwarven, Infernal, Gnome
Resist: Fire 5, ????? 5
Fort +4 (0+4+0) Ref +4 (0+4+0) Wis +11 (2+8+1)
Speed: 30 feet, Fly 30 feet (good)
Ranged: Eldritch Hammer blast +9 (6d6)
Ranged: Brimstone blast +9 (6d6 fire plus ignition)
Base atk: +9
SA: Eldritch Blast, Invocations
SQ: Damage Reduction 3/cold iron, Detect Magic, Fiendish Resiliance, Imbue Item
Invocations:
Least- All-seeing Eyes, Beguiling Influence, Hammer Blast, Otherworldly Whispers
Lesser- Brimstone blast(?), Fell Flight
Greater- Dark Hand (See below)
Abilities: Str 11 Dex 11 Con 11 Int 18 Wis 12 Cha 10
Feats: Craft Wondrous Item, Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Investigator, Jack of All Trades (CAdv), Magical Aptitude, Master of Knowledge (HoH)
Skills: Bluff +6 (6inv), Concentrate +2 (2sk), Craft (Alchemy) +20 (16skill+4int), Craft (blacksmithing) +17 (13sk+4int), Craft (Weaponsmithing) +16 (12sk+4int), Diplomacy +8 (6inv+2syn), Gather Information +2 (2feat), Heal +5 (4sk+1wis), Intimidate +7 (1sk+6inv), Knowledge (Arcana) +27 (16skill+4int+1feat+6inv), Knowledge (architecture) +5 (4int+1feat), Knowledge (Dungeoneering) +10 (5sk+4int+1feat), Knowledge (gepgraphy) +5 (4int+1feat), Knowledge (history) +5 (4int+1feat), Knowledge (local) +5 (4int+1feat), Knowledge (nature) +5 (4int+1feat), Knowledge (nobility) +5 (4int+1feat), Knowledge (religion) +27 (16sk+4int+1feat+6inv), Knowledge (The Planes) +17 (6sk+4int+1feat+6inv), Search +16 (4sk+4int+2feat+6inv), Sense Motive +17 (+16sk+1wis), Spellcraft +24 (+16sk+4int+2feat+2syn) +26 with scrolls (+16sk+4int+2feat+4syn), spot +7 (1wis+6inv), Survival +1 (1wis) +3 on other planes or underground (1wis+2syn), Use Magic Device +18 (16sk+2feat) +20 with scrolls (16sk+2feat+2syn)
Eldritch Blast (Sp): The first ability a warlock learns is eldritch blast. A warlock attacks his foes with eldritch power, using baleful magical energy to deal damage and sometimes impart other debilitating effects.
An eldritch blast is a ray with a range of 60 feet. It is a ranged touch attack that affects a single target, allowing no saving throw. An eldritch blast deals 1d6 points of damage at 1st level and increases in power as the warlock rises in level. An eldritch blast is the equivalent of a spell whose level is equal to one-half the warlock’s class level (round down), with a minimum spell level of 1st and a maximum of 9th when a warlock reaches 18th level or higher
An eldritch blast is subject to spell resistance, although the Spell Penetration feat and other effects that improve caster level checks to overcome spell resistance also apply to eldritch blast. An eldritch blast deals half damage to objects. Metamagic feats cannot improve a warlock’s eldritch blast (because it is a spell-like ability, not a spell). However, the feat Ability Focus (eldritch blast) increases the DC for all saving throws (if any) associated with a warlock’s eldritch blast by 2. See page 303 of the Monster Manual.
Detect Magic (Sp): A warlock can use detect magic as the spell at will. His caster level equals his class level (12)
Damage Reduction (Su): Fortifed by the supernatural power fowing in his body, a warlock becomes resistant to physical attacks, gaining damage reduction 3/cold iron.
Deceive Item (Ex): A warlock has the ability to more easily commandeer magic items made for the use of other characters. When making a Use Magic Device check, a warlock can take 10 even if distracted or threatened.
Fiendish Resilience (Su): A warlock knows the trick of fendish resilience. Once per day, as a free action, he can enter a state that lasts for 2 minutes. While in this state, the warlock gains fast healing 1.
Imbue Item (Su): A warlock can use his supernatural power to create magic items, even if he does not know the spells required to make an item (although he must know the appropriate item creation feat). He can substitute a Use Magic Device check (DC 15 + spell level for arcane spells or 25 + spell level for divine spells) in place of a required spell he doesn’t know or can’t cast.
If the check succeeds, the warlock can create the item as if he had cast the required spell. If it fails, he cannot complete the item. He does not expend the XP or gp costs for making the item; his progress is simply arrested. He cannot retry this Use Magic Device check for that spell until he gains a new level.
Dark Hand
Greater Invocation
The warlock may use Telekinesis as the spell. Additionally they may make a free attempt to telekinetically grapple any creature they hit with eldritch blast
The other two members of the group refer to the warlock simply as “Warlock”. It is unknown if he really has no name or the others are simply too stupid to remember it. A scholar of all fields of study, Warlock is the brains of the group and its de facto leader. Except for when he is plotting the murder of a romantic rival or building an unsavory magic item for an even more unsavory client, he also is usually the conscience of the group; he tries to steer the group towards adventuring and/or employment rather than outright stealing, extortion, and fraud.
“Mimic”; Mimic Warshaper 1; Large Aberration (Shapechanger)HD 7d8+1d8+56; HP 92; Init +1; Speed 10ft; AC 15 (-1 size, +1 Dex, +5 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15; Atk +9 melee (1d8+4, 2 slams); SA adhesive, crush, morphic weapons; SQ Darkvision 60 ft., immunity to acid, mimic shape, morphic immunities; AL CN; SV Fort +11 (+2HD+7con+2class), Ref +5(+2hd+1dex+2feat), Will +3 (+5HD-2wis); Str 19 Dex 12 Con 24 Int 8 Wis 6 Cha 10
Skills and Feats: Climb +6 (2sk+4str), Disguise +10 (2sk+0cha+8rac), Escape Artist +2 (1sk+1dex), Listen +3 (3sk-2wis+2feat), Spot +3 (3sk-2wis+2feat); Alertness, Lightning Reflexes, Weapon Focus (slam)
Special Attacks:
Adhesive (Ex): A mimic exudes a thick slime that acts as a powerful adhesive, holding fast any creatures or items that touch it. An adhesive-covered mimic automatically grapples any creature it hits with its slam attack. Opponents so grappled cannot get free while the mimic is alive without removing the adhesive first.
A weapon that strikes an adhesive-coated mimic is stuck fast unless the wielder succeeds on a DC 16 Reflex save. A successful DC 16 Strength check is needed to pry it off.
Strong alcohol dissolves the adhesive, but the mimic still can grapple normally. A mimic can dissolve its adhesive at will, and the substance breaks down 5 rounds after the creature dies.
Crush (Ex): A mimic deals 1d8+4 points of damage with a successful grapple check.
Morphic Weapons (Su): As a move action, a warshaper can grow natural weapons such as claws or fangs, allowing a natural attack that deals the appropriate amount of damage according to the size of the new form. These morphic weapons need not be natural weapons that the creature already posesses, for example, a warshaper polymorphed into an ettin (Large giant) could grow a claw that deals 1d6 points of damage, or horns for a gore attack that deals 1d8 points of damage.
If the warshaper’s form already has a natural weapon of that type, the weapon deals damage as if it were one category larger. For example, a warshaper who used wild shape to become a dire wolf (Large animal) could grow its jaw and snout, enabling a bite attack that deals 2d6 points of damage (as a for Huge animal), not the normal 1d8. A warshaper can change morphic weapons as often as it likes, even if it is using a shapechanging technique such as the polymorph spell or the wild shape class feature that doesn’t allow subsequent changes after the initial transformation.
Special Qualities:
Mimic Shape (Ex): A mimic can assume the general shape of any object that fills roughly 150 cubic feet (5 feet by 5 feet by 6 feet), such as a massive chest, a stout bed, or a wide door frame. The creature cannot substantially alter its size, though. A mimic’s body is hard and has a rough texture, no matter what appearance it might present. Anyone who examines the mimic can detect the ruse with a successful Spot check opposed by the mimic’s Disguise check. Of course, by this time it is generally far too late.
Morphic Immunities (Ex): A warshaper is adept at distributing her form’s vital organs around her body to keep them safe from harm. Warshapers are immune to stunning and critical hits.
“Mimic” is an unusually dumb mimic prone to taking on non-apropos disguises or accidentally disguising himself as the wrong thing. The Gorn Lord is fond of tricking him into turning into offensive shapes that enrage onlookers and even more fond of tricking him into doing the dirty work for its half-baked schemes. When out adventuring he has the useful quality of being able to get the others into hard to reach places
“The Gorn Lord” (3.5e) (An intelligent mug based on Master Shake)
The Gorn Lord; CE Intelligent Everfull Mug (Magic Item Compendium pg.160; A mug that can fill itself with cheap booze 3/day; base price 200gp); Int 9, Wis 6, Cha 6; Speaks Common; Sight 120 ft and hearing; 10 ranks in Bluff, 10 ranks in Profession(Cook);
Moderate Conjuration; CL 15th; Craft Wondrous Item, Create Water;11700 gp
The Gorn Lord is white stoneware tankard with a carved face and an elaborately wrought golden lid. The tankard has a reprehensible personality, and left to its own devices it will swindle people, verbally abuse people, make inappropriate advances towards women despite the fact that it lacks genitals, and attempt to trick people into injuring themselves. Its only useful trait, other than its ability to generate cheap alcohol, is its inexplicably extensive knowledge of cooking.
Oh, and I also statted up the giant dog from the first scene of the Aqua Teen movie. It’s basically just an advanced hell hound, except it also has eye-lasers
The Poodle from the Prophecy
Size/Type: Huge Outsider (Evil, Extraplanar, Fire, Lawful)
HD: 20d8+140
Initiative: +5 (+1 dex, +4 feat)
Speed: 40 ft (8 squares)
Armor Class: 20 (-2 size, +1 dex, +11 natural), touch 9, flat footed 19
Base Attack/Grapple: +20/+40
Attack: Bite +32 (3d6+18/19-20 plus 2d6 fire)
Full Attack: Bite +32 (3d6+12/19-20 plus 2d6 fire) 2 Slams +27 (1d8+6)
Space/Reach: 15 ft/10 ft
Special Attacks: Breath Weapon, Eye Rays, Fiery Bite
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 feet, Immunity to fire, Scent, Vulnerability to cold
Saves: Fort +19, Ref +13, Will +13
Abilities: Str 34 Dex 12 Con 24 Int 4 Wis 12 Cha 6
Skills: Hide +16, Jump +23, Listen +24, Move Silently +20, Spot +22, Survival +12*, Tumble +24
Feats: Alertness, Dodge, Improved Critical (bite), Improved Initiative, Run, Track, Weapon Focus (bite)
Breath Weapon (Su)
10-foot cone, once every 2d4 rounds, damage 3d8 fire, Reflex DC 27 half. The save DC is Constitution-based.
Fiery Bite (Su)
The Poodle From the Prophecy deals an extra 2d6 points of fire damage every time it bites an opponent, as if its bite were a flaming weapon.
Eye Lasers (SU):
The Poodle From the Prophecy can shoot lasers from it’s eyes as a standard action. These act as a Twin Spell (complete arcane pg 84) Searing Light spell cast at caster level 10.