Breaking Up Is Hard to Do, Part 2
Between Assassin’s recent ouster from The Anti-Party and today’s unhappy leave-taking, we’ve seen a lot of negative depictions of “the breakup.” But if you look closely, you might notice the jubilant angle of Necromancer’s middle finger. Witch and Succubus might be ever so slightly toxic, but Necromancer seems to be walking off into a literal bright new day. And that doesn’t seem so sad at all.
Today’s comic is about doing the right thing for yourself. We’ve all heard the adage that “no D&D is better than bad D&D.” But it’s worth looking past the epithet to figure out why that’s the case.
When a game has turned sour on you, it’s easy to come up with excuses to keep going. For example:
- There aren’t any other groups in my small town.
- My only alternative is to play online. I hate online gaming.
- My sibling / coworker / best friend’s obnoxious spouse is in the game. I can’t just leave!
- It’s not so bad.
- It’s not worth the drama.
- He only crits me because he loves me.
The most important thing to remember if you find yourself thinking these thoughts is this one simple question: Are you still having fun? Sure parts of it are good. But do you find yourself dreading the game? Has it become a drain on your mental resources rather than a fun pastime? Do you find yourself leaving the session pissed off rather than excited to play again? How many group members do you want to punch in the head? If the answer is more than one, you don’t have a That Guy problem. You have a group problem, and you owe it to yourself not to play with shitty people.
So for today’s discussion, let’s talk about knowing when it’s time to leave. Have you ever found yourself putting on Necromancer’s cloak, hoisting the bird, and walking away from a bad group? What was the last straw, and was it the right decision? Tell us your tale down in the comments!
LAUREL & CLAIRE: If any of you guys made your Investigation checks, you might have noticed that Laurel is in LA while Claire is teaching in New Jersey. Just remember that love interests come and go, but a good flanking partner is worth their weight in gold. The story continues, and so does our creative partnership.
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Silly as it sounds, my main worry here is just that Vengeance is up for the next departure. I kind of like him on Team Bounty Hunter! It’s sort of a cute dynamic.
The next one to leave their party is going to be either Wizard (for the drama) or Fighter (because Fighter). Not to worry though: in true comic book fashion we’ll be back to status quo by next issue.
True story: Laurel talked me out of it. 🙂
People say no D&D is better than bad D&D, but personally I think that there are in fact lots of types of D&D that are better than bad D&D. In fact, I’d even go so far as to endorse the complete opposite view: ALL other forms of D&D are better than bad D&D.
I dunno. I’m pretty sure that Evan’s Spiked D&D of Forced Intrusion is better than Bad D&D. But maybe that’s personal taste. 😛
https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0020.html
I don’t know, that chimera seems to think that Evan’s Spiked D&D should probably have the [bad] descriptor. And create it, if needs be.
How strange(ly nostalgic) to see a link to OOTS #20. That page is older than my passion for TTRPGs…
How do you think I figured out Handbook of Heroes was a thing? Owe a lot to the Giant.
I was in a group with a necromancer, and the smell became an issue. We discussed matters and decided that it would be best to turn the zombies into skeletons, much more hygienic.
Everyone: “That seems like a fair compromise.”
The Appalled Paladin: “NO IT FUCKING DOESN’T!”
For the sake of intra-party cohesion, our GM decided that our bloody skeletons would not, in fact, be spilling blood everywhere. A wise choice, I believe, because even Prestidigitation can become bothersome if you need to spam it constantly.
I’m glad for Necromancer. 🙂 She’s made the right decision, given what she saw in the mirror of truth, how horrified she felt at that interrogation scene, and especially the renewal of her relationship with Paladin. I wish them both the very best.
Me too, man. I just wish I had some small way to influence their tragic relationship and send it on a more positive trajectory!
Wouldn’t it be nice to think so? 😉
I’ve told this tale before, but I guess not everyone’s seen it, and it bears repeating. (Not to mention it’s still a sore memory, even after all these years.)
I was still gaming in a live group every friday night. The group had gotten so large that there were two sub-groups, and I was in one of them that featured two Evil-aligned characters, one of whom was a Paladin of Tyranny.
To my distress, the guys who played Evil assumed that this was license to be jerkish. The Paladin of Tyranny, especially, got on my last nerve.
I’d brought a portable tower so we’d always have a safe spot to sleep, and he kept insisting it was his. Not to the point that he tried to take it from me, he just kept repeating it was “his” tower whenever we discussed it. This may not seem like much, but with the way they kept overruling me whenever I said something was a bad idea (like having us lug an evil artefact from point A to point B, whereupon the recipient used it to trigger an infernal apocalypse) and pretty much threw me under the bus when it suited them to do so, I finally got so angry that I said: “”Fine! I’m out.”
At this point, I simply walked over to the other sub-group and asked if they could fit me in. I can still see the PoT’s dumbfounded face and hear him ask: “Wait. You were really angry?”
Yes. Yes, I was.
Some people are oblivious. If it makes you feel in better, it must be hard to go through life like that.
It eventually got this guy “fired” from the group. :-/ He’s the dude I talked about in the comments to “Breaking up is hard to do”, part 1.
Urrghh, this brings back ugly memories.
Once was in a DnD5 group on Roll20. The GM was absolutely superb, Matt Mercer level of prep work and doing the voices for NPCs, soundtrack, map and so fourth. (years before Critical Role was even a thing)
The problem was the party, dear gods, the party. Chaotic Stupid did not even begin to describe the behaviour. Each session of the game was like an episode of Archer or Red vs Blue. Lets list a few accomplishments:
– Our mage throwing a Stink Cloud spell in the hall of a posh inn for having the audacity of not letting them in (they were on the scruffy side). This caused of commotion that kept my character busy, thus leaving the NPC I was bodyguarding to escape from my watch and dying in the events that ensued.
– Our ranger touching and thus breaking, the ward holding a demon within, despite my repeated warnings, thus freeing it to wreck havoc upon the land
– The party Rogue consistently going behind our backs to murder NPCs, make deals with wanted criminals…
What finally broke the camel’s back for me was the following. The party was in an Underwater elf city and only the head priestess spoke common. She acted as translator between us and the Queen. They were being unhelpful and somewhat even hostile to us as things went on. I eventually clicked that the head priestess was obviously a mole and mistranslating on purpose to foster bad relations. I said so ooc but not ic as my character was resting at the time so no cheating. Then the head priestess goes to two party members and suggests they go and steal the crown to further the quest. What do the players do ? They go straight to do that without consulting the rest of the party because they knew I was going to tell them not to do so and they wanted shenanigans.
After a few minutes of them bumbling that heist, I logged off the roll 20 game and sent a message to the gm telling him I was done. I didn’t want any further part in the trainwreck the other players were turning the game into and was done protecting the party from the consequences of their stupidity.
Ughhh, that sounds awful. >_< I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Shenanigans are fun until they derail everything.
“Your personal liberty to swing your arm ends where my nose begins.”
Yeah, that sounds annoying. Still, I’m glad to read this – one of my current characters does shenanigans that sound a bit like that, and, while I have always maintained plausible deniability and guaranteed that my actions would not affect the group, I do know that I’m sometimes toeing the line. Hearing other players’ experiences are always a good reminder and refresher.
Still, I think I’m still in the clear ? Quite recently, I told the other players “Hey, I’m going to do something that is probably a bad idea, but matters a lot to my character and myself, and already have a backup character if I die. I can do that offline with the GM. Any objection ?” I was told that the others would rather want to be involved and play this among ourselves, rather than having me do it offline, so I suppose they are okay with this.
As long as the lines of communication stay open, you are good. A periodic, “Hey guys, am I too chaotic random?” from time to time helps as well.
With regards to Necromancers and smells… embalming fluid is your friend.
If more Necromancers invested some time in properly embalming their minions, a lot of the odour-related objections would go away.
You know the “Things I’ll do if I ever become an Evil Overlord” list?
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordList
Maybe there should be a sub-list for necromancers.
…man, that description makes me nervous, mainly because I can’t tell if something happened with Claire and Laurel or if it’s just circumstances being a pain.
Wish the two of you the best either way.
Oh, cheers man. But for the sake of clarity, we did split up.
Just hung out together with our old gaming group for Drinky Boaty Day back in Colorado, so rest assured that things are good between us. Friendship is very much a go. 🙂
Ah, I see. Sucks, but at least you’re still on good terms. (For a regular GM, I can be EMBARASSINGLY bad at reading people sometimes.)
I remember one of the older comics with Necromancer has her look into a magic mirror that shows her being a “good guy” or w/e you wanna call it and i cant help but wonder if that was foreshadowing or just a throwaway joke that lead to something more
What comic? I don’t remember that comic. Nor any personal significance it might have for me. 😛
https://www.handbookofheroes.com/archives/comic/self-discovery
I’ve only ever bailed on one set of games, about 6 of them all at once… So it was almost two years ago now. Work was exhausting, insomnia was exhausting, and frankly I no longer had the brainpower to focus on the games, even though they were online, so I let them all know I was out for until I got my free time and rest stabilized.
I’m still out, insomnia is a hell of a drug.
Have you tried sleeping?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8rlwatCZP0
Good luck, my dude. Sounds shitty. :/
I once had to walk away from a game as a GM. I was running 5e, using the Princes of the Apocalypse module, still very new to running games. A couple of players had dropped out when we finished Lost Mines of Phandelver, deciding 5e wasn’t for them, so one of the players invited some friends of his (with my permission).
It was… not great. One of the players was a girl who, when not in character, only spoke in the third person, which was odd but fine, but she also randomly called me “daddy” one time and I had to be like “hey. please don’t do that.”
Other problems cropped up but the main thing that bothered me was that I would remind people of the session time every week, get into the voice channel on the game’s discord server a few minutes before session time, and more often than not just hang out, by myself, working ahead on prep while nobody else showed up. No communication, no apology, no show. Sometimes everyone, sometimes just most people, but more often than not there weren’t enough for us to play.
After a few weeks in a row, I’d had enough. Sent a message in the server telling them that I was cancelling the game, why, and then waited a couple of days and deleted the server.
None of them ever responded. Good riddance to bad players, I hope they grow as people, but I play with better groups now.
Your screen name still makes me smile everytime I see it. Epic set of mutton chops.
Good on ya for getting out. That sounds like butts.
As a DM, I’ve usually found room to compromise with squeaky wheels and annoying players, but I’ve occasionally had to play the “Are you SERIOUSLY arguing with the DM?!” card. There’s the “my character can do anything as well as [insert class/species of other party member], despite [class abilities, being untrained, etc.]” guy, there’s the “I use all NPCs as cannon fodder” guy, the “I love the chaos of making this a randomly XXX adventure because I think it’s funny” gal. But when you have a party made up of predominantly annoying or downright toxic players, sometimes I’ve found it easier to have “massive scheduling problems” that prevent me from DMing for them “for the time being.”
As a player, I’ve occasionally had to pull the same thing– let the group go on and game without me. Their idea of fun is not mine. Sometimes a group I’ve left invites me back (sometimes even with promises that they’ve somehow gotten their shit together in the meantime and want to actually follow the course of an adventure). Sometimes, of course, it’s just because they can’t attract any new players and nobody wants to fill the role of [insert my character build here], and they can’t survive/weather/win the next adventure without his skillset.
My Paladin nature recoils at such blatant deception.
My Rogue nature thinks it’s funny as shit.
Flat out, both hubby and I hate 5e. Especially the story arcs WOTC was running. I don’t feel up to DMing anymore for several reasons (age and mental health for the most part), so we finally just gave up and quit. I sorta rage sold a LOT of my stuff, which I regret now, but I doubt we’ll be playing again anytime soon.
Well that’s terrible and sad.
Doing PBP or watching some actual play at least? 🙁
Yeah, I go watch Critical Role and a few others, but most of our playing time is now CRPGs.
Well, anti-party has an open spot, and evil party has an open spot. (May have 2 soon) Seems like a swap may be in order to get their playstyles lined up.
Yes… Yes… Let the rampant speculations FLOW through you!
https://media.tenor.com/R7M9YUc6HTAAAAAC/let-the-hate-flow-look.gif
They are gonna trade member? Necromancer to the anti-party and Assassin to the evil team? Better send him with the ladies and have Necromancer and Paladin form team love. We already got a wedding on the comic, they can have their own adventure too 🙂
Objection, your honor! Speculation. 😛
Could it be? Will Gunslinger finally get a chance at having a group?
He’ll never be that lucky.
His quest continues. 🙂
Could it be? Will Gunslinger finally catch a break and find a group to join?
Bah, double-posted by accident.
Unprofessional, bro!
So, my first ever tabletop group ended like this- except it was everyone, at once, leaving the gm because he was an asshat. The Godlike GMPC (who for some reason needs low level adventurers to do his dirty work when he can cast finger of death 5 times in a round), only my npcs get to be cool, flirts-with-players-ooc-without-consent, drunk/high during sessions, the works tbh. But we were all new to tabletop, so it took a long time for us (a living world group of about 12 different players) to get fed up enough to do something about it- because we did genuinely like the player-to-player interactions.
In the end though, I can’t be *too* terribly upset with that GM, because almost entire current friend group consists of other players from that living world game. I never would have started GMing, never would have started homebrewing, if I hadn’t started off and made friends with people there. I’ve even rescued the two characters I played in that game to use in other campaigns- my Cleric became a cleric of Sarenrae / dragon barbarian for extinction curse, and my Sorceror became a summoner for Stolen Fate (both are Pathfinder 2nd Edition adventure paths)
Wait… isn’t Witch dying her white hair blonde?
It’s rather hypocritical of her to call anybody else “prematurely gray”…
Yeah, Witch is a hypocrite as well as … everything else.
On the topic of the “smell” for Necromancer…it really is an issue. Or at least I recall that being the case back in D&D 3.5. As my recollection is that for a good while the best you could consistently have were ghouls..or was it ghasts? I just recall it was one of those that had an actual stench aura. Great combat pets…sort of troublesome traveling companions.