It’s been a while since we talked about the RPG lie, but the outrageous things we gamers say is nothing compared to the shenanigans we actually pull off. Story time, kids!

My tale of daring do comes courtesy of Exalted 2e. If you’re not familiar, Exalted is a crazy-go-nuts fantasy setting. Everyone’s a super powered demigod, no one has common sense. It’s kind of like that.

Any dang way, this party of Lunars (shape shifters) were trekking through the bowels of the Labyrinth, an endless maze of haunted caves that wind throughout the Underworld. After months of travel the party finally neared their destination—the city of Thorns, citadel of a Death Lord called The Mask of Winters. There are strange flows of necrotic essence underneath that place, and unwary humans who stray too close may become twisted and strange, mutant versions of their former selves. This weird essence has also caused the Labyrinth itself to transform into a living throat. For the party, it was like walking through the insides of an enormous serpent.

The mutant, when they encountered it, still looked something like a man, but much more like an enormous starfish. The points of its arms were sharpened jags of bone, and these were touching the sides of the tunnel when it began to spin in place. It cut the Labyrinth like a saw blade. The party began to float away into the airless void of space, and could only look back at the outside of this writhing snake tunnel. One of the party members had acquired a giant floating jellyfish form. Unable to fly in space, the others could only cling to that, while the clever archer used his essence cannon to generate thrust, steering the party back towards the waiting starfish monster.

Thus was born the legend of ROCKET POWERED JELLYFISH SUPER PUNCH GO! I believe that attack KO’ed the creature.

That’s my story. What about you guys, though? What absurd “just crazy enough to work” plans have you pulled off?


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