I’ve got a problem with potions. Or more specifically, I’ve got a problem with the guys that make the potions. This freakshow is in my game pretty much verbatim, and in the little blank spot next to “class” is the least trustworthy word in all of gaming: Wizard

Remember how we discussed a few weeks back that wizards tend to go bad? Well it’s that same beard-faced, abomination-summoning, physics-fiddling weirdo that’s pouring newt’s milk or whatever the crap into a beaker and telling you to chug it down. This is not OK. I mean sure, it might conceivably give you giant’s strength or invisibility, but this thing* might also “shape that you can care while lifting the flabby part.” I wouldn’t put money on it though.

What I’m getting at is this: There’s no Food and Drug Administration in fantasy land. Even if those potions do perform as promised, you’re going to get all kinds of magi-cancer in your twilight years. And side effects? Forget about it. You’re going to get warts, your warts are going to become tentacles, and your tentacle-warts are going to try and strangle you in your sleep. Best case scenario your descendants become sorcerers. And nobody deserves a Thanksgiving table full of snooty pretty boys checking their hair in the cutlery and reanimating the turkey.

As an experiment, I put the question to you. Have any of your characters ever imbibed some magical comestible, only to suffer grave consequences? Tell us what happened, and don’t skimp on the gory details!

*Forever-dead link used to got to a Japanese beauty product. Still have no idea what it does.

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