Thief + Wizard, Part 5/5
We timed this one intentionally. Laurel and I just celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary, and we remain as geeky as the day we were wed. So in lieu of your regularly scheduled gaming blog, I present to you the story of how we met. It was printed inside the program of our Lord of the Rings themed wedding, as pictured at right. (Don’t worry. She managed to get me across the Ford of Bruinen.)
There are few romantic prospects for the lonely geek. Rolling dice, reading fan fiction, waiting in line for the latest comic book movie… it all takes time. And mostly you’re content with your lot in life. You hang out with your geek friends, eat Doritos, drink Mountain Dew, and argue about whether Darth Vader could beat up Gandalf. But it’s not enough. You surround yourself with distractions and entertainments, play all the video games, surf all the websites, and wonder what else there is in life. And deep down, you know what it is.
There’s that one moment you hope for. That special moment shelved away in the fantasy section of your heart, so impossible because after all, you’re a geek. She’s never going to walk through that comic shop door. She’s never going to look at you and smile; never going to share your interests and your inside jokes. You’re smart and you’re rational, and you know that the girl doesn’t exist.
Except that one day in the fall of 2008, it happened to me. I was in a comic shop. I had a hand full of magic cards, a distinct lack of romantic involvement, and an empty afternoon stretching before me. But the door opened. The most beautiful girl in the world walked in, all dark hair and bright smiles, and I thought that I had wandered into a dream. But she was real. She asked the shop keep about local gaming groups.
I promptly conceded my card game.
That first month we were only friends. We played a few games together, fell in with the same social circle, and grew to like each other. And one night, walking out from that same comic shop, I asked her for a date. She said yes. And the rest, as they say, is history. If she hadn’t handed me a box full of dice last October — each one of which said “Will you marry me?” on it — I would have asked her before the year was out.
I wish we could all be geeks in love. There is no finer feeling on this or any other world.
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Aw! They’re all so cute and happy! (Is that Arcane Archer in fox form?)
That is Arcane Archer in fox form.
Congratulations on your 8th anniversary. ^_^ I wish you a long life and happiness together. (Well, I didn’t know you when you got married, so I couldn’t do it then.)
And what an absolutely gorgeous artwork!
It’s so nice to see everyone happy and getting along. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Aristocrat smile before, and what an adorable bridesmaid sge makes. Aww, and Kineticist and Cleric both getting misty-eyed, haha. And Pug looks so cute in her wedding finery, and Antipaladin looks so benevolent…
Best arc yet! With a wonderful conclusion. <3
And Skitters went all out on the decorations! ^_^
Wow, Ranger looks adorable!
SO MANY DETAILS! ^_^
And the best detail of all?
Thief isn’t hiding. Her hair is out of her eyes, she is wearing bright colours, and she is happy.
Beautiful symbolism. ^_^
^_^
Awww, happy anniversary, and may the dice gods always smile upon you! 🙂
So long as we’re rolling ’em together, I have a feeling they will. 🙂
Happy anniversary! I love hearing geeky proposal and wedding stories. I’m glad things have gone so well for you two, and I wish you many more happy years together.
Looks like this wedding is a pretty joyous occasion too. The heroes have put aside their differences with the anti-party and bounty hunters, it seems. I look forward to seeing how Thief and Wizard’s marriage goes – hopefully there will be just enough drama to keep Wizard happy without ruining everything.
Cheers, NTC! I am perpetually dumbfounded that I managed to luck into a hot girl in the comic shop.
Well I mean… If you were going to try and collar a bunch of known criminals, what better place?
God this is so incredibly cute :p. Love to see cute gays, and it’s heartwarming to see good rep for both that and trans folks, although I’m unsure if that was originally the intention :p Congrats on the anniversary, and I look forward to more of this comic to get me through whatever the fuck 2021 is gonna be like. At this point, I’m expecting raptors with machine guns. Who know CQC.
Also, did I miss Witch and Inquisitor being a thing? Because that’s very cute
It’s more explicitly (heh) a thing in the Handbook of Erotic Fantasy comics. Always intended for it to be a thing here as well.
Now I just have to figure out how to introduce Warlock’s BF.
Wait, what does wizard identify as again? Since she was a man, but I feel she has settled into being a woman pretty well.
My feeling is this. Wizard began her journeys in human lands as part of the Olarin:
https://www.handbookofheroes.com/archives/comic/origin-stories-the-heroes
Since then, she has been appointed ambassador:
https://www.handbookofheroes.com/archives/comic/decorum
No longer is she a mere journeyman mage. As a diplomat, she’s all about that sweet, sweet propriety. And since humans are more hung up on gender than elves, she’s adopted the local custom (and pronouns).
“But wait!” I hear you say. “She’s ambassador to Elf Princess’s kingdom. What does that have to do with human propriety?”
Well you see, I’ve decided just now that Elf Princess rules a metropolitan sort of kingdom where elves are a minority. Elven monarchs provide stability with their long lives though, so it’s considered good policy to have one on the throne. Nevertheless, human cultural mores tend to dominate.
If you’d like to see the entire line of post hoc rationale, I’m sure Wizard could draw up a chart: https://www.handbookofheroes.com/archives/comic/family-tree
If Elf Princess is the head of government due to policy (a constitutional monarchy, perhaps?), and not just her bloodline, then it explains that she is Elf Princess, rather than Elf Queen.
Her power is not absolute and her role is defined by the constitution! How forward-thinking for a fantasy world. ^_^
ಠ_ಠ
And just like in real life, brides look almost nothing like their usual selves. It’s not often we see Thief with her hair up… or Wizard with hers down.
I think Wizard might have had a spell prepared:
https://www.handbookofheroes.com/archives/comic/dominate-hair
Congratulations on you anniversary!
😀
Congrats on your (and now their) anniversary! Cute to hear Laurel, like Thief, won initiative on the proposal.
On a side note, where did you buy that fancy wedding dice package?
It’s going to be easy to remember in future comics.
Chessex used to engravings on all dice, but I think they’re just offering d6s now.
Or did you mean the box itself? That’s a Laurel original.
Let’s hope it’s a good reminder – you forgot about your April Fools opportunity once already! And this opens you to the danger of remembering Thief/Wizard’s anniversary but forgetting about your own, dooming you to a worse outcome than normal.
On the plus side, I’m sure you’ve remembered that strip 555 is coming up soon!
I’ll wait for strip 666 to do something special. Maybe a Satanic Panic comic with Succubus or Demon Queen.
Magus has that look. The look of ‘I’ll kill everyone in this room if it means catching the bridal bouquet’.
Druid/Eld. Archer might be a fierce competitor though. And Pug just likes catching things.
See I was getting the vibe that between her nudging Vengeance Paladin and Vengeance Paladin’s blushing that she was looking to have her own in-party romance.
From stray comments I’ve seen, I’m pretty sure those two are a thing in the Handbook of Erotic Fantasy. Possibly also including Ranger; cannot confirm, though, because I have no disposable income.
I may have nudged Laurel about doing some “scrap book sketches” form the wedding. I doubt she’ll have the time, but you never know!
Given how Magus’s catfolk interpretation works, she’d be catching the bouquet anyway even if she wasn’t telling Inquisitor here she’s ready to pick out patterns.
Daw, there’s so many cute details in this one. The familiars (Scabs!), Lumberjack Explosions sparkle eyes, Eldritch Archer being a fox, Oracle not seeing what’s going on…
I may have made a distinctly unmanly noise when I saw Lumberjack Explosion’s expression.
You missed your chance to make this a combo wedding and marry ALL the characters. ALL the wedding dresses.
Ceremony is a hell of a spell.
If there’s gonna be another wedding for Eld. archer and Druid or Magus/Inquisitor, I vote it happens in the village of Brie (the Ratfolk village).
So the wedding cake can be A CHEESECAKE! 😀
Damn… I really do need to turn Brie into a mini-dungeon one of these days. It would be a good monthly giveaway for the Patreon.
I’ll make sure to keep reminding you of it and guilting-tripping you until you do! 😀
Happy anniversary!
Cheers, Frank!
Happy anniversary! So many cute details in this one.
The scroll-over text on this one was originally part of the script. After I saw Laurel’s progress I was like, “You know what? Maybe less is more on this one.”
It’s a bit of a shot to the old ego, but some pages are way, WAY more the artist’s than the writer’s.
The art of Wizard’s face looks so incredibly familiar, but I can’t place it. I’m sure I’ve seen that dusky, half-lidded look in pastel before.
Aside from that, very cute.
Let me know if it comes to you.
I personally think she’s got a bit of an Elsa from Frozen thing going on here.
I was using some other illustrations as inspiration when I started, so I’m thinking maybe that this might be what you’re thinking of?
That She-Ra image is similar, but I think I’ve found what I was thinking of: The cover image of the first volume of “Run Away With Me, Girl”. (Looks like the system disappears my reply if I put a link in, so you’ll have to search it out yourself.) The look and feel matches up pretty well with this comic.
Ooooh that looks so cute! I’ll have to go read it now.
Happy anniversary!
🙂
Awwwww you two are so disgustingly cute, I love it! Thank you for sharing such an unabashedly awesome wedding story, making 2020 a little less bleak, and thanks for writing all of these excellent comics. May you and Laurel continue to have great adventures for decades to come : )
This comic is keeping me sane through grad school. I don’t plan on stopping any time soon. And with any luck, Laurel may be able to switch over to full time one fine day. All ahead for the land of perpetual Handbook!
And poor lonely Gunslinger seems to have missed out on the party again.
I suspect there’s an invitation in his mailbox. He’s just long since given up on checking.
Happy Anniversary!
😀
I’m squealing at both the drawing and the story, that’s adorable. Congratulations!
You should have heard me squealing when she gave me the dice.
Lesse, on the bride’s side I spy: Pug finally getting her boosties, Quest Giver, Paladin, Barbarian and Fighter high fiving, Mr Stabby, Sorcerer, Ranger getting a suggestive look from Magus, Druid, Kineticist, Oracle, Arcane Archer, Cleric and Aristocrat.
On the bride’s side I spy: Skitters, Scabby, Lumberjack Explosion, and Antipaladin.
Everyone looks so great, and happy. I love it.
I will say I’m rooting for Druid+AA, Magus+Inquisitor, and Snowflake+LE to get their turns in the arch.
Ranger is holding up a hankie.
Magus is giving Inquisitor a Look.
And let’s not even contemplate the possibilities for Paladin and Necromancer.
It looks like some more couples are forming at this wedding. I see Fighter/Barbarian, (Much to Devotion Paladin’s chagrin) and Vengeance Paladin/Eldritch Knight.
Why did the bounty-hunters who are actively pursuing the party get invited, but the members of team-evil the party doesn’t have a beef with (Fiend Warlock/Necromancy Wizard) didn’t?
This is a very wholesome entry, your story too. Happy anniversary!
Also, I know it’s because her eyes are closed with joy but Thief’s face reminds me of Sir Alonne’s helmet from Dark Souls 2.
Had to google for that one. I can definitely see the resemblance though.
Woooooo!
Happy Anniversary!
Woo indeed, my friend. Woo indeed.
What manner of sorcery managed to get Fighter into a tux?
The Grease spell, would be my guess.
My gp’s on glamoured armor.
I’d say a few compulsion spells to convince him to bathe and put it on.
Maybe Mr. Stabby’s Ego finally won out? He is looking awfully sharp today.
How is a 15GP set of fine clothing more wedding-appropriate than a 1,500 GP set of plate? It’s the nicest thing he owns.
Mr. Stabby takes offense.
Eeee, yay!
Felicitations on the happy couple! And happy anniversary to the two people who bring us this comic! May your dice only roll 1s when it’s funny.
Damn. I like that one. Ima use that one. 😀
I’m with Colin on this one. This deserves to be memed into ubiquity.
Congratulations, to both couples 🙂
P.S. Wizard has such a wonderfully happy smile on her face. Heart, melted.
She got her spotlight moment AND her girl. It’s a good day at the office.
Thief and Wizard both do, but in such different ways, fitting their different personalities.
This comic has good art. There’s no way Laurel gets paid enough for this.
Beautiful, lovely and shorter than How i meet your mother 😛
Congratulations on the anniversary and on surviving asking laurel for this page 😀
And Laurel, great work, excellent, outstanding on this page. The faint rainbow light, the characters, colors and background. The emotion on the characters, the interactions and small details are incredible 🙂
I like too that Wizard is using white but thief is using yellow 😉
Congratulations to you two and happy anniversary 😀
I think maybe she had too much fun with this one. I could hear her giggling from the other room.
A happy artist, a living writer 😀
Good formula 🙂
I dislike white wedding dresses, actually? But Wizard likes tradition (even if fantasy technically predates the tradition for white wedding gowns), so I kept hers white, but it was pretty easy to figure out what color Thief should wear–gold is obviously her favorite color 😀
They two look great and pretty and deeply in love. I think i may know where the inspiration came 🙂
And other colors for wedding dress are a thing more and more. Usually white was for the virgin bride, red for bride with XP and maybe black for widows. Other colors are more of a trend now 🙂
Great work and happy anniversary 😀
My wedding garb was based loosely on Theoden’s. Laurel went with Smaug.
And the two over there went for the Nazgul? Or you and Laurel were hiding because they went for the wedding cake? 😛
Oddly enough, the wedding cake was also Smaug.
There were lots of dragons at your wedding.
I approve, but you only have to look at my gravatar to guess that.
Chocolate Smaug, yum 🙂
Fondant actually. He ruled his domain from atop a cupcake throne!
In the land of Cake, the dark lord Choco awaits on his cupcake throne the One Filling lost so long ago 😛
Kinda like there is a good campaign there 🙂
I think I have some source material:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/de/Classic_Candy_Land_by_Winning_Moves.jpg
XD
Never played that 🙂
The gold dress does go perfectly with her purple skin…
Don’t tell Laurel that! She’s all the time going on about color wheels anyway. There’ll be no living with her now!
Too late the Design & Decoration season has already begun 😛
What was Laurel’s referenced dress design for the wedding? I’m curious what Wiz’s dress (or is that a lacy/frilly tux?) looks like from a better angle, it’s hard to discern all the details from her pose and the surrounding foliage/comic text.
I didn’t use a reference for the dresses, sorry–but for Wizard I was imagining kind of a figure-hugging silhouette with sheer sleeves and lace trim with a kind of drapey bit on each shoulder? I debated about making it backless, and now I kind of which I had. Sorry! I’m kind of a fashion nerd, so I have enough ideas in my head most of the time that I don’t look up examples.
FWIW, I like the dress as-is. Covering her shoulders and back like that makes it more distinct from Thief’s dress, and while I can’t put my finger on it, that difference seems to fit Wizard.
Wizard is generally almost always covered up, so it makes sense for her to be more modest with this dress, I think!
So you’re saying the comic is just an excuse for you to engage in fantasy fashion with wild abandon? 😀
Welll… it’s not NOT an excuse.
I like those drape-y things. They reminded me of faerie wings, which seems appropriate for an Elf getting married in as grand a manner as she can manage. ^_^
I was really proud of them! More people should have random drapery on their clothing!
Why does Paladin look like he’s worried / constipated and staring off into the distance?
You’d be worried too if a Pug was climbing your rented tux.
I like how Paladin and AntiPaladin are at the very opposite sides of the frame.
Seating arrangements are a fine art.
Congrats on 8 years. ^^
To Laurel: You’ve outdone yourself with this one. Best image in comic by far.
On a side note, is Magus hinting something to Drow Priestess there O_o?
https://youtu.be/ERj08qJ2FAU?t=54
Are you suggesting that Magus’s gentle nudge in the ribs is somehow the equivalent of bombardment from the mighty battleship Bismark?
If by bombardment you mean shipping them together (I linked video at part where ship appears) then yes.
My mistake on mistaking Inq for Priestess.
should really do a pledge on patreon already and bing those strips.
Are you Oinkbane? Because that mess was too subtle for me. (Which might be the first time Sabaton has ever been called subtle.)
No worries. You actually helped me out there. It’s high time those two met, and I logged on just now to write the blog for their comic.
https://jeffshore.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/sleazy-salesman.jpg
That’s Inquisitor, not Drow Priestess. DP has short-cut messy hair (and probably wouldn’t be invited), Inquisitor has long wavy hair. Plus, Inquisitor and Magus are already ‘a thing’ (especially in the Patreon strips).
I’ve been putting off throwing Inquisitor and Drow Priestess into a comic together. I really need to get on that.
Considering who Inquisitor’s dad is, that meeting might get a bit … tense.
Thank you! I was really happy with how it came out!
well, that’s that. i can die happy now.
Legit choked up over here.
TY for the kind words!
I’m so happy for you two!
…and also Laurel and Colin too I suppose. =P
Always weird to think that the characters are more phenomenologically “real” than the authors. I guess it’s a bit like that thing where remembering what happened in RP is neurologically similar to remembering IRL experiences.
…
Also, thanks! 😛
It might also have something to do with how we see the characters parading on the stage, and you guys are hidden behind the metaphorical dungeon master’s screen. 😉
That seems more likely.
Yeah… it’s not because I show my love and appreciation by sassing people.
I thought wizard was the taller one – or did he shrink when she swapped to womanhood?
Table: Random Height and Weight
Gender Base Height Height Modifier Base Weight
Male 5 ft. 4 in. +2d8 in.
Female 5 ft. 4 in. +2d6 in.
That reroll can be a bitch.
Fools! Can’t you see it? In the background!
There’s a GAZEBO!!
It’s ready to attack! Run for your lives!
Quick! Somebody shoot it with a +3 arrow!
Even antipaladin is enjoying himself, what a nice occasion
Congrats on the 8 years!
😀
For the sake of innocent bystanders everywhere, let’s hope Cleric never tells Fighter that the AC boost from Ceremony’s AC can be gained again if widowed. Hopefully Fighter never finds anyone willing to marry him.
Mr. Stabby’s bloodlust increases.
I love it. This is just so sweet and everyone looks absolutely amazing.
Probably for the best to not have invited Necromancer considering Paladin is there, but then it’s a bit weird that Antipaladin could come (I suppose that he’s kind of the odd one out of all Team Evil).
…wait, is that the Quest Giver in the very back with the hat?
Well spotted on the Quest Giver hat.
And it is weird that the ladies of Evil Party weren’t invited. It’s almost as of somebody was trying to stir up dramatic drama….
Has to be Wizard. They’re a total drama queen.
All mysteries revealed on the latest Handbook of Erotic Fantasy. (Of course, your guess is pretty spot on.)
I assume it’s because he works for that Demon queen who is apparently a relative of Thief
Huh. That… actually makes a weird sort of sense. Demon Queen managed to kinda-sorta attend her descendant’s wedding by proxy.
Don’t know who all in the comic knows about the relationship. (Sorcerer might, and Antipaladin might notice a family resemblance, but neither of them would have been issuing invitations.) Then again, if your machinations are subtle enough, you can accomplish all sorts of shenanigans, and Demon Queen seems like she might enjoy the odd machination.
Yes… Yes… More speculation! Soon it will give way to fan fiction! And then? The world!
Just as a build experiment. I tested out a permutation of a Necomancer9/Undielock11 build. This build already has the ability to raise and maintain over 625 Skellies each day. Now we’re going for flavor:
With Pact of the Tome and Book of Ancient Secrets, a Warlock can pick up other class’s rituals, including Ceremony.
This led to the development of a villainess that would use her high charisma and enchantment magic to convince whatever men caught her eye to agree to marry her. She’d preform the ceremony, stuff them in a sack, and then after seven days when “the spark went out of the relationship” she would have her undead army murder them so they could be raised and added to her forces, and move on to the next marriage.
Can’t help but think that Fighter would be totally okay with this strategy until he wound up in the sack.
I did a crazy necromancer bride adventure a little while back. Hmmm… Ha! Found it:
https://adventureaweek.com/shop/5th-edition/5e-mini-dungeons/5e-mini-dungeon-141-courting-death/
Nothing I could say would make this any more lovely; suffice to say it is sweet, in-comic and out. More than that, really, but it’s not my place to say – only that as someone reading this from a distance, everything made me smile.
<3